Problems, incidents have come rushing since the last few months. Life-changing perceptions, views, motivations aren't easy to handle with when there aren't the loved ones to hold on to. True it is, family and friends are right within my arms length whenever I'm in trouble, or not.
Little did I know..little did everybody know, our family would come to grief and lost a family member, physically. Two months ago, exactly two months ago..was the last night I got to spend with my Grandma. Her soul had left this world the next morning..it's her body that remained still, lifeless. It was the first time ever.. EVER.. I prayed I was not in reality..that I was just in somewhere else, in my sleep. I couldn't believe this would finally happen..I would lose someone I love most, a family member, forever.
The person who was and still is hurt most, who couldn't help regretting and ignoring the reality up til now, will be my dearest father. He was not around during the last time of grandma's life, he was out of town for a few days. Never in my life I had seen my Dad in such sorrow.. feeling such agony. My dad was very, very, strong. Many times he pretended to remain calm, tried to move on, yet everybody knew, deep inside he was screaming out loud..hoping if by any chance, any chance he could at least say goodbye, he would exchange it to anything.
The following days were blurry..I couldn't recall much the happenings, the atmosphere that overwhelmed the whole family members, relatives, and friends. None of them believed my Grandma had passed away.. n o n e of them. She was clearly in the pink of health, with ability to shout, walk slowly, or even cook by herself. She wasn't showing any sign of sicknesses, or was in one, when she left. But then again, I'm grateful she left definitely in peace, considering how many times she had been hospitalized the past few months during the last time of her life.
The ritual of 49 days have passed.. yet each thing happened on that day remains fresh in my mind. Grandma had been such an angel during the time of her life..and I believe she is too, now. Thank you was never enough to express my gratitude, to have a wonderful, loving and caring person as you, Grandma, to have never stopped taking care of me any second of your life, to always have you as my guardian angel.
You may have physically gone for good, Grandma. But you will never truly leave me, or any of us, ever.
You will always be with us Grannie, a l w a y s ♥
