nail em!

Heya!

I apologize for the negative atmosphere in my blog :/ I've just been so depressed lately.
I start to get the feel I'm not as diligent as I did in my foundation year, the lesser the lessons, the more I procrastinate ugh

Right now I am busy preparing for 2 major reports for Management and Statistics. I can't believe how they seem 'do-able' but when I start my work, I am blank.
Statistics consume pretty much my one week YET they are not finished.. I can barely say halfway. Thanks to my level 999999 of procrastination ._____.
Management's due on Wednesday this coming week which say I only have 3 more nights to totally nail it!
This past week has been a long one I am sure the next is gonna be longer..

I pray for my inner will to quickly recover from its illness (procrastination) and get strong enough to nail the 'deadly' reports. I pray for sleepless nights ahead to pay off and for my brain, may it recover in no time from its short-term-memory illness. I pray for all things to fall into place til finals end. For my first semester of uni to pass awesomely. Please do pray for me too?

when life gives me another lemon

Hey how r y'all doin?


It's only my 9th week of being a uni student and I already feel like forever. No joke.
Apparently this time I'm taking quite long a time to adapt to something new. A further level of education I've wondered all senior high school years. This is truly the beginning of the independent world.

I can't believe I'm saying this but Uni life is hard. and serious.
It's either you work your *ss off and get rewarded, or fool around and fail the course. It's the least mercy of all the education stages I've been through.
"But why is it hard for you?"
I'm more of the procrastinator than the organised type of learner. Each week there is only one two-hour lecture and one one-hour tutorial for each subject, so in total I've got only 12 hours of school teachings for 4 subjects I'm taking. But no, it's not enough if you really want adequate understanding of each topic. The rest is expected to be self-study..which lies the problem for me.

Well if I can choose I'd rather have more of one or two tutorials for each subject per week. Just like foundi year where there are two tutorials each week for 'challenging' subjects. Oh and, with a professional tutor, not recently-graduated bachelor students. Yeah that would be very helpful.

Nevertheless, University life isn't meant to be like my way, yes I realise. It would have been harder to cope later in the work life if uni's educational system is arranged in a 'dependent' study manner..since I believe there won't be many 'tutors' or 'lecturers' any more.

So the solution to this is, I gotta play it well this time. In any way I possibly can. There's no other option that is more rewarding. Coz in the end, I'm going to look back at this moment, and proudly state.. " I made it. "

Nothing I do is right. Not even for myself. So am I supposed to live life pleasing anyone but myself? Is there a place where I even belong?





 Can I just disappear?