Everything has changed,

It's over. Finals is finally over. Can you believe that? Maybe you can, but I can't, yet.
Ran a movie marathon to spend this evening. I need some refreshment, some reality to kick me hard, this time to prove I'm not dreaming.
It's quite hard to believe it's finally happening.. one-third-of-a-year long of holidays. Do I really deserve this? I really hope so.

The last ten days have been my toughest edu life. In fact, I think the whole semester. I'm sure if you've been following my blog you'll know how frequently I've complained about uni life. Last ten days, though, were the hell-iest. You know that time when you were determined that giving up was not on the list, but there's merely a thin line that's separating you from it? There goes the worst moments. Like how I wish I could fast forward time, into like the one I am in now. Imagining myself writing this entry, elaborating into words how I exactly felt. It was sick.

I was warned, like I've always been, how the next stage of education life I was about to face is going to get more ugly. My sisters definitely knew it best. The start of my overseas education was remarkable though. The moment when I finally managed to tick that dream achievement off my list. Also, when I made some good friends along the journey that stay until today. However my life seems to take a turn with its new Audi and drove me somewhere- which now I recall- the infinity path. The name shall define it well.

They say during your toughest times you come to appreciate the happy ones. I don't know what will happen just yet, but I've decided to learn to make full use of each day that will be passing, for the rest of the holidays. The year 2012 is approaching an end too. Which means I'm going to survive another one, this time I can say hardly.

Closing off this blog post with the song from the adorable singer- yes imma Swiftie ;)

Come back to life

My first semester attending University is nearing an end. Time is crazy fast when you are having fun and stuffs to do all the time. One down, another to go.. another down, other to go.. the list is never empty.

I have just enrolled the courses for next semester. All thanks to my Indo peers who have started discussing the timetable of the same course we all are taking: Macroeconomics 1. So basically we want to be enrolled in the same tutorial, so we could meet more often. Each one of us is now taking own direction..some are considering to take similar majors, others like me, are partially on my own.

Life is getting more interesting since uni started. Looking back, all the issues in both social and education life still intrigue me today. I may have improved my learning style in Foundation Studies months ago, but in Uni I come back to where I used to be.. the slacking, complaining, lack-of-motivation learning style. It takes me one semester to come to realisation how University is teaching the students.. how I should be learning. My sister keeps telling me " It's no longer foundation " whenever I complain of the lack of care my tutors have for their students. The reality just slapped me hard.. and I am still NOT in consciousness.

I hate the fact that I have been in lack of motivation these past couple of months. Each day that has passed I remind myself to spend time productively, yet I still prioritise anything else but my studies.. and the cycle is repeating. It aches me how I have failed to bring back my hibernating curiosity and the time that has been wasted for nothing.

However, I hope I learn through all these. There's nothing more valuable than the lessons coming after awful experience. I am crossing my fingers for a better day tomorrow. For the realisation of the beauty of working hard, for having motivations and goals, for the happy productive me. xxx

when life gives me another lemon

Hey how r y'all doin?


It's only my 9th week of being a uni student and I already feel like forever. No joke.
Apparently this time I'm taking quite long a time to adapt to something new. A further level of education I've wondered all senior high school years. This is truly the beginning of the independent world.

I can't believe I'm saying this but Uni life is hard. and serious.
It's either you work your *ss off and get rewarded, or fool around and fail the course. It's the least mercy of all the education stages I've been through.
"But why is it hard for you?"
I'm more of the procrastinator than the organised type of learner. Each week there is only one two-hour lecture and one one-hour tutorial for each subject, so in total I've got only 12 hours of school teachings for 4 subjects I'm taking. But no, it's not enough if you really want adequate understanding of each topic. The rest is expected to be self-study..which lies the problem for me.

Well if I can choose I'd rather have more of one or two tutorials for each subject per week. Just like foundi year where there are two tutorials each week for 'challenging' subjects. Oh and, with a professional tutor, not recently-graduated bachelor students. Yeah that would be very helpful.

Nevertheless, University life isn't meant to be like my way, yes I realise. It would have been harder to cope later in the work life if uni's educational system is arranged in a 'dependent' study manner..since I believe there won't be many 'tutors' or 'lecturers' any more.

So the solution to this is, I gotta play it well this time. In any way I possibly can. There's no other option that is more rewarding. Coz in the end, I'm going to look back at this moment, and proudly state.. " I made it. "

Heh lo

Updating to wash away the negative 'aura' of my blog due to the complain posts recently.
Life's treating me good recently, and I thank everyone who makes effort to colour my day :) I guess talking (either face2face or chatting) or meeting with people can easily brighten up my day! Yes those 'trivial' things others may regard is a 'big' thing to me :D

Soon I will have my dad within arms reach and I can't be more glad! The only thing is...... assignment, duing in 4 days which is NO GOOD. Pleaseeeeeee remind me not to laze around too much anymore coz I am seriously running out of time, with a chance of not completing the task with my best :S

Had so much going on this lovely yet hectic week I hope I can post the pictures in the next post!

PS. I am in the Rooftop Prince and Step Up 4 fever.... Han Ji Min unnie <3 p="p">




TTFN! ( Ta-Ta-For-Now)

Rants

Hi!
Tomorrow's week two of August, week 4 of semester 1. Two in-class tests will be held: Microecons and Accounting 1A covering materials week 1-2/3, worth at least 10% of final grade.

I've been relaxing all this while. Mostly the result of not excited about uni? (hm prolly) Uni timetables is crap, still I've got only 12 hours of classes a week. This makes me even lazier. (seriously what's with you Winny?)  Just the thought of the assignments is enough to scare the hell outta me. Oh not to forget Management research essay (1000 words) due week 5. And. I. am. still. blank. have not even started from scratch!

I feel like fleeing from all this bullsh*t. My mind is still wandering anywhere except to uni. I'm still out of focus, adapting to the new education system which is 180 degree different from foundation's. and yet all the assignments have started kicking in, reminding me my time shouldn't have been wasted on all the laze I've been doing.

Tomorrow's the econs test and I have no idea what it's gonna be like. 45 minutes, 10% worth of writing task? All I can think about is the 10-minute, max 15 marks worth of question that I've been revising all day, the one I find the hardest. I don't wanna fail this, I'm going crazy really!!! Tell me what to do anyone?! ;C


SICK of unilife,

lost and lonely

Thoughts lately:

• I get so bored easily, lately. I couldn't enjoy what I thought used to be fun and instead doing boring things like watching dramas and stuck at home on weekends. This is so confusing. This happened ever since I came back here after holidays I think. I feel lifeless. *dang*

• I am not a fighter. anymore. I used to be much willing to fight for what I love, for people for things for goals. I've lacked the spirit now. Mostly the reason is I don't have much to fight for nowadays. No particular loved ones, no particular things or goals. I feel lifeless. :<

• After I find a reason that lifts up my mood or gets me excited again, I tend to be too dependent and scared, unprepared.. and in the end I get bored or lose it again. What's wrong with me these days?

• I become less and less grateful. This is not happening to me oh God. I need some refreshments for the soul, please I shall attend Sunday Puja this week _/\_

• Something nice! I met with a high school friend today and realised many things. One of them is to be just me, as in not trying too hard. I've lost track on this lately. I feel pressure from those I always cherish, no longer find a comfort zone in a friendship. I hate to say this but I begin to think I have been overexcited myself for the last 10 months. All the excitement is decreasing dramatically in a flash after some incidents. I hate to think so but many evidence seem to direct me there. Oh God, what should I do?

• Three weeks in uni and assessment, assignment are already waiting in line for me. In class test, quizesssss. Fingers crossed I will survive for another 3 years in sydney!! xxxxxx

Something nice to smile about after the rants

Verrrrry nice Java Chip TomNcinno 

with my lost twin (birthdate) hehe

I hope one day I'll find my lost soulsister like these two *fingers crossed*

the breathtaking sydney view

:3

When life gives me a dice without a game,

I hate the fact that....

• when my days get too dull, boring, I can do little to change it.
• 
  
• sometimes my brain spins a million just do take some action. to do it, or not?
• 
  
• uni life has not been exciting, since the first day. I need some good changes please.
• 
  
• I haven't been that 'clear' type of person who knows exactly what she wants.
• 
  
• when things go wrong, I dunno what to do.
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• I don't have that close friend I can share my day with here. The one with no strings attached.
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• I have so many crazy ideas on my head I'd like to try on, but can't find the right person to try with.
• 
  
• the day when I have to finally depend on my own is coming soon :/
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• when my sisters come home bad mood.
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• I am often confused between what I wanna do, and what should be done.
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• I have to do, learn, act,all by myself . AND I am judged. 
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• I am sooooo lazy at times I can't bear but don't have the will to change it :C
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• I cannot spare some me-time in the morning.
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• life isn't as fun as it used to be. PERIOD.

The fact I hate most is I feel so helpless I can't change those things above.