some things are better left unspoken, no?

Who has the right to control your emotion? Your present feeling? No one, but you.

With regard to the previous post, I have had so much in my mind to think of. For the countless times, my mind and heart are fighting again to find out who's the winner for some moment. Yesterday my heart was the winner, today it still is. Ever since I failed to control over my own heart, I have attempted to support my mind to win this endless match. Sometimes I get sick and tired, and pause for a while. At this moment, my mind wins. But other times my heart would wake up and fight to find its mate. Yearning the times when it was pampered by his. True it is, it takes a short while to fall for love, and may take a lifetime to forget. Well, I don't really like this version of mine when it comes to talk about this particular matter. 'cause I'll become so fragile..so strength-less. But then again, I remind myself, everybody else has ever been in most conditions I felt, and they breezed through them..so why can't I?

Having asking the solution from a friend of mine, I feel like regaining back the strength. I had made myself clear today when I stated out some points that made me feel this way. Surprised as I was, they are not actually worth the pain. Re-reading what I typed to a friend this evening, I feel that all this time I am not in the side I think I am. Returning back to the right path is what I'm struggling right this moment.

Sorry to have been filling you with intangible writings recently. Many times when I feel sentimental I type so much trying to make things clearer but still confuses me anyway haha :p

Oh yes, about (hectic) school life, senior high students at Sutomo 1 (I'm not sure with junior high) will definitely be facing a stressful moment soon (geniuses excluded). First monthly exam of this semester is about to begin in...less than a week. The problem is, from next Monday until Wednesday we will be having holidays! yes it's a problem if I can't concentrate myself, which usually happens on holidays. :\ Gosh I REALLY NEED to do my best this time. Ain't gonna let regrets haunting me after results are out. This time should be reaaaaaaaaaal serious please Winny! For the future, FOR THE FUTURE! :X

A smile is a curved line that sets things straight. (:

Today was a very happy and special day..for me. Not because 5th August was a special day or whatsoever but maybe I shall add this date into my "Memorable Dates List" :)

First, I woke up very early in the morning (early I mean half past six :p) and successfully arrived school long enough before the bell rang. :)
Second, I did nothing special besides doing what I have been doing for the last one week..Maybe this only dearests and I know :)
Third, I spent many lessons not feeling very well because of the sweet dream I had last night. It was utterly sweet which was why it bothered the reality :\
Last but not least, my mood suddenly turned became a (very) ecstatic one because of that tiny..meaningful  thing :) That tiny thing successfully gives me a reason to smile till now and highlighted today! ♥

I honestly am not very aware of what I'm about to do or face. Everything just seems so..wonderful that I wouldn't want to miss a spec of second by having too much thought about it. Well, I know I should actually rethink of what has been happening to me lately. I can finally have the joy of the feeling I've been desperately missing all this time..and I'm back under a magic spell. Sad to say, I can never really feel the same anymore since my mind has taken half of the whole part. Well actually it is a good thing...for me, and my future. So yes, it's not fully sad :)

All I can hope is not to let it take control over me...not anymore. I've learned the lesson, gained the experience. I keep telling myself that every single thing I do now will affect not only my present, but mostly future. Again, all of these will worth it... I will make them do. Blessing, strength, and support..are the ones I need to have more right this moment ♥ :)