I miss blogging.
It's been two weeks or more, and things have happened.
Exam is over, that's one, and I'm grateful for that. Don't know why, these days exam just doesn't seem as exciting as it used to be for me. Now, I feel like being haunted by the piling papers which have to be done overnight. Blame my studying habit I know, but I just can't seem to can fix that up til now, not that I've never tried.
Perhaps it's the pressure of having to memorize the whole thing being examined that kept my mind on the subject, unlike ordinary school days when the pressure is lesser. Maybe. See so far I think this semester exam's results will probably be the worst in high school. I think I wasn't in charge of my own brain this time. It just didn't want to listen to me. Sigh.
Enough of exam, holidays have been great so far. I am in Singapore and leaving for Sydney in approximately 2 hours :) so happy finally I get to meet the two lovelies after several months!
Merry Christmas to all of you and Happy New Year in 7 days ;)
Hope all of you have a wonderful and enjoyable holiday!
xoxo
love,
Teh.Winny
Friday, December 24, 2010
Tuesday, December 07, 2010
ponder ponder
It's 11.42 pm, meaning 18 minutes to 12 am, to 7th of December...8 days before the semester exam. I don't know why I keep on complaining myself for being procrastinating, yet my mind won't work like what I've planned. This is so not true, my stupid habit is seriously gonna cause me some HUGE trouble :'/
I've come to realization that nobody can be as trustworthy as our own parents, and in my case sisters..NOBODY. No matter how much sacrifice, trust and faith you've given and put on people.. some day, any day, they could just act beyond what you could ever think of, and instantly ruin your trust, take you for granted! Now the funny part is, you cannot really hate them after everything they've done to you..let alone break the relationship you and they had once been. See how silly human can be, sometimes? I believe some of us had at least one experience of this situation, unable to let go of the past, go with the present flow, move on to the future.
I've come to realization that nobody can be as trustworthy as our own parents, and in my case sisters..NOBODY. No matter how much sacrifice, trust and faith you've given and put on people.. some day, any day, they could just act beyond what you could ever think of, and instantly ruin your trust, take you for granted! Now the funny part is, you cannot really hate them after everything they've done to you..let alone break the relationship you and they had once been. See how silly human can be, sometimes? I believe some of us had at least one experience of this situation, unable to let go of the past, go with the present flow, move on to the future.
Anyway, Happy Tahun Baru Islam for those who celebrate! :)
xx
l o v e,
Teh.Winny
Saturday, December 04, 2010
Thankyou for being proud of me, Mom and Dad ;)
When holidays for other schools are just around the corner, ours are in 3 weeks time and will last ONLY for 2 weeks :/ Sutomo doesn't really award the students with long holidays to welcome Christmas and New Year, unlike many other schools here in Medan -___-"
Ah, with regard to yesterday's post (:D) I really couldn't stop smiling when I knew it the night before. Actually, I have just known that IELTS results can be checked from the Internet through results.ielts.org :O I was informed by Desilia who also got the same overall band score as mine :D Congrats to both her and Winnie, who got 7 for the band score ;')
I was not trying to exaggerate anything but this is no ordinary achievement, at least for me. I was dang surprised and elated to know I had done such a good job. This feeling of proud is better than when I was announced to be accepted in the plus class (; The excitement, enthusiast, the whole thing can still be clearly depicted up till now. But I know, IELTS is merely a measurement of how far my English can go, and will not stay for a long time. Which is why, I need to improve it again and again before it loses its magic ;)
Anyways, I've got to get ready for a family dinner now. I'll post more if I want to later :p
Happy Weekends, all!
l o v e,
Teh.Winny
Ah, with regard to yesterday's post (:D) I really couldn't stop smiling when I knew it the night before. Actually, I have just known that IELTS results can be checked from the Internet through results.ielts.org :O I was informed by Desilia who also got the same overall band score as mine :D Congrats to both her and Winnie, who got 7 for the band score ;')
I was not trying to exaggerate anything but this is no ordinary achievement, at least for me. I was dang surprised and elated to know I had done such a good job. This feeling of proud is better than when I was announced to be accepted in the plus class (; The excitement, enthusiast, the whole thing can still be clearly depicted up till now. But I know, IELTS is merely a measurement of how far my English can go, and will not stay for a long time. Which is why, I need to improve it again and again before it loses its magic ;)
Anyways, I've got to get ready for a family dinner now. I'll post more if I want to later :p
Happy Weekends, all!
When the heart starts functioning for someone, the brain starts malfunctioning too much.
-via @ThisDamnQuote
Hey you! Gottcha :P
l o v e,
Teh.Winny
Friday, December 03, 2010
s p e e c h l e s s
THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE!
Oh myy I really couldn't believeeeeeee I have actually managed to reach my target! This is just too good to be true... Thank you so much to all parts involved in making one of my greatest days; First and foremost, dearest Buddha! Coming up next our guardian angel (Grannie), Ah-mazing two sisterss :*, beloved supportive father and mother, Ms Jessica, Ms Anita, Sir Harkiman, all the supports from friends! AHHHHHH I'm speechless.
Thursday, December 02, 2010
What happened, has happened.
This post is actually intended to upload the pictures at the orphanage, as I promised, but they are all at my hard disk and it's going to spend much time from transfering the photos from it to lappie, then upload it. So I think I'll just write a quick post of what's happening! :)
XII-SCI-02 (VOC) at Sutomo 1 [my super class!] has now applied a new regulation. All of the students inside, visitors coming by, anyone who wants to step in the class has to take off their shoes before coming in. Only clean and new sandals are allowed in the class apart from just wearing socks and barefoot.We now clean our class almost every day, making sure there is no spot of dirt in the floor . We took the window curtain to the laundry to be cleaned too since it had been completely dirty let alone dusty. So actually, whose idea is this whole thing? I think it's from the class monitor! He always has a bunch of nice ideas :)
Anyways, IELTS' result will release tomorrow. Right now I'm scared but got nothing I can do about it so I guess it's no use of being scared. This result is desperately important! I hope I can reach my target sadhu3x o:)
School exam is in lesssssss than 2 weeks and that scares the hell out of me. I've got not much time left, chapters untouched, and here comes another bother. Sometimes, he just doesn't really think far, does he? Sigh, I've got nothing to tell. Anyhow I hope I could do GREAT this semester to help my dying grades :'(
Wish me work hard!!
XII-SCI-02 (VOC) at Sutomo 1 [my super class!] has now applied a new regulation. All of the students inside, visitors coming by, anyone who wants to step in the class has to take off their shoes before coming in. Only clean and new sandals are allowed in the class apart from just wearing socks and barefoot.We now clean our class almost every day, making sure there is no spot of dirt in the floor . We took the window curtain to the laundry to be cleaned too since it had been completely dirty let alone dusty. So actually, whose idea is this whole thing? I think it's from the class monitor! He always has a bunch of nice ideas :)
Anyways, IELTS' result will release tomorrow. Right now I'm scared but got nothing I can do about it so I guess it's no use of being scared. This result is desperately important! I hope I can reach my target sadhu3x o:)
School exam is in lesssssss than 2 weeks and that scares the hell out of me. I've got not much time left, chapters untouched, and here comes another bother. Sometimes, he just doesn't really think far, does he? Sigh, I've got nothing to tell. Anyhow I hope I could do GREAT this semester to help my dying grades :'(
Wish me work hard!!
l o v e,
W
A preview!
I realized I have not posted any photos for months! So hereeeeee, a sneak peak of my new haircut (not quite new actually, it's been a month )
How is it? Many of my friends question my sanity since I haven't cut this short since anyone can remember. Haha. I personally think the new haircut's quite playful.. and fresh. So I don't mind :3
BEFORE
AFTER
How is it? Many of my friends question my sanity since I haven't cut this short since anyone can remember. Haha. I personally think the new haircut's quite playful.. and fresh. So I don't mind :3
Saturday, November 20, 2010
It's now, and never.
I'm elated that I've finally done the IELTS. I feel extremely..relieved :) Now the hard work I've done, is surely gonna be paid off in two weeks. It has to. After the result has released, and I'm declared to have passed the standard I need- or if I did well, manage to reach my target ♥ (sadhu3x) - I'm then one step closer to my future plan :b
To plan about what I am going to be in the future is both confusing and exciting, I guess. there comes those amazing fantasies, zeal for the future, overwhelming you. The never-ending options we get to choose, yet not sure which one is the real one we are destined to do, or the one we are willing to work hard for in the future. What does the future really have in store for me? I guess I'm the only one to be able to figure it out.
So tomorrow, 21st November 2010, me and more than half of my classmates are going to the orphanage. :) This is the first time for most of us, including myself. I'm looking forward to it..I'll be sure to blog about it tomorrow : )
Anyways, talking about the major (yes, again!) I think I really should make up my mind sooooon as there's not much time left. See, high school is going to end in...half a year? Gosh every time that thought crosses my mind, I will reminisce about how when I was just in the elementary school, the end of school years still felt so far..and how I wanted to end school soon. : /
Okay, guess I shall stop worrying about all those things for just tonight..and maybe tomorrow, and start worrying again when Monday comes. Gah, Monday is always not my favourite day of the whole week .__.
PS, Now I know, now I shall be sure.. There's nothing more to be expected. :)
Miss you Grannie, our family's guardian angel ♥ I know you can listen to me every night I pray to you :')
To plan about what I am going to be in the future is both confusing and exciting, I guess. there comes those amazing fantasies, zeal for the future, overwhelming you. The never-ending options we get to choose, yet not sure which one is the real one we are destined to do, or the one we are willing to work hard for in the future. What does the future really have in store for me? I guess I'm the only one to be able to figure it out.
So tomorrow, 21st November 2010, me and more than half of my classmates are going to the orphanage. :) This is the first time for most of us, including myself. I'm looking forward to it..I'll be sure to blog about it tomorrow : )
Anyways, talking about the major (yes, again!) I think I really should make up my mind sooooon as there's not much time left. See, high school is going to end in...half a year? Gosh every time that thought crosses my mind, I will reminisce about how when I was just in the elementary school, the end of school years still felt so far..and how I wanted to end school soon. : /
Okay, guess I shall stop worrying about all those things for just tonight..and maybe tomorrow, and start worrying again when Monday comes. Gah, Monday is always not my favourite day of the whole week .__.
PS, Now I know, now I shall be sure.. There's nothing more to be expected. :)
Miss you Grannie, our family's guardian angel ♥ I know you can listen to me every night I pray to you :')
Monday, November 15, 2010
contemplating..always
In a few days, I am going to sit for an important test as the first step of applying a university in Sydney. Yes, it's IELTS. I'm verrrrrrrryyy nervous, but there are more things to think about right now so I can barely mind that feeling. Sure it's going to be okay, everybody else often tells me. I have to be confident enough for this test, to manage to reach my target. Gosh, just to think about the D-day now makes me nervous already, UGH :/
Talking about university, I'm still contemplating much about it. I am going to Sydney, but not sure what to take as major..or which university to apply. This uncertainty has been filling my mind for weeks now, even months! It's always very frustrating when I come to talk about it..what I picture myself doing in the future. So basically I have interest in anything artsy, and to major in business is still a consideration. The thing about art is, I CANNOT DRAW..yeah, that's the main problem. All this time I only imagine mix and matching clothes, colors. When it's photography, I can barely imagine, I just..shoot. See now, I'm very lack of talent in art and design. SIGH how I wish, how I wish :\
Today's highlight would be I managed to attend Sunday Class at the temple today, after, like, a month :)
I feel blessed..I really did. I should make it a custom now..there will be no excuse like not being able to wake up early, I'll definitely work on it! May you have a great start of the week tomorrow, readers!
love,
W
Talking about university, I'm still contemplating much about it. I am going to Sydney, but not sure what to take as major..or which university to apply. This uncertainty has been filling my mind for weeks now, even months! It's always very frustrating when I come to talk about it..what I picture myself doing in the future. So basically I have interest in anything artsy, and to major in business is still a consideration. The thing about art is, I CANNOT DRAW..yeah, that's the main problem. All this time I only imagine mix and matching clothes, colors. When it's photography, I can barely imagine, I just..shoot. See now, I'm very lack of talent in art and design. SIGH how I wish, how I wish :\
Today's highlight would be I managed to attend Sunday Class at the temple today, after, like, a month :)
I feel blessed..I really did. I should make it a custom now..there will be no excuse like not being able to wake up early, I'll definitely work on it! May you have a great start of the week tomorrow, readers!
love,
W
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Past.Me.Future
All this time, I've been keeping this to myself and my closest ones only. Now, I come to admit a bittersweet truth. For the countless times, on the same source, I admit, my heart's broken. Sad to say, it's always bcs of that same guy I've put faith in since years ago.
I've promised not to talk abt it anymore ever since the decision was made. I've known that there'll come this day, it's just sooner than what I thought. I've known once I let myself go..you'll be in someone else's arm. I thought I had prepared for it, just like the previous time.
Unfortunately, I'm still in the process of the whole thing. And you're (always) far ahead already. This kind of thing is very new to me..I know it takes time, and I can deal with it. :)
The risks of the choice I made, they're definitely coming to me now..one by one. I'm collecting my strength at this kind of time, to push away all the unwillingness, doubts..source of my unhappiness. I'm learning to let happiness from other sources come overwhelming me ever single day. I'm trying to live each day to the fullest. They say this is what being alive is about, and it's true. My days may not be at their best nowadays, but simply feeling alive is the best thing already to me. :)
Dear Buddha, this time I'm not hoping much. I simply ask for Your guidance, through darkness and sorrow, agony or happiness. Let this be my lessons on life. Let me learn as much as I can. Let me suffer before I'm at cloud nine. Above all, let me appreciate life. sadhu3x
love,
W
I've promised not to talk abt it anymore ever since the decision was made. I've known that there'll come this day, it's just sooner than what I thought. I've known once I let myself go..you'll be in someone else's arm. I thought I had prepared for it, just like the previous time.
Unfortunately, I'm still in the process of the whole thing. And you're (always) far ahead already. This kind of thing is very new to me..I know it takes time, and I can deal with it. :)
The risks of the choice I made, they're definitely coming to me now..one by one. I'm collecting my strength at this kind of time, to push away all the unwillingness, doubts..source of my unhappiness. I'm learning to let happiness from other sources come overwhelming me ever single day. I'm trying to live each day to the fullest. They say this is what being alive is about, and it's true. My days may not be at their best nowadays, but simply feeling alive is the best thing already to me. :)
Dear Buddha, this time I'm not hoping much. I simply ask for Your guidance, through darkness and sorrow, agony or happiness. Let this be my lessons on life. Let me learn as much as I can. Let me suffer before I'm at cloud nine. Above all, let me appreciate life. sadhu3x
love,
W
Tuesday, November 09, 2010
Praticality
I am thrilled to know that my phone can actually connect to blogger. This means, it will be less time-consuming now as I don't need to turn on my laptop every day to merely a purpose of writing a post about my day :) I always love the idea how gadgets can connect people more easily, or in this case, help to do what I love on a daily basis :p
although so, I don't think I'll often blog from my phone since its keypad is not qwerty and I literally have to type many times to form a single word ._. At this time, i would fancy a qwerty phone as it would definitely save much of my energy.
So, how's life, everybody? Mine is rather fine. Have got many important things to accomplish in short time that will determine my future life. While at the moment I'm living life to the fullest. Hope you guys are doing fine as well in whatever you are doing.. :)
although so, I don't think I'll often blog from my phone since its keypad is not qwerty and I literally have to type many times to form a single word ._. At this time, i would fancy a qwerty phone as it would definitely save much of my energy.
So, how's life, everybody? Mine is rather fine. Have got many important things to accomplish in short time that will determine my future life. While at the moment I'm living life to the fullest. Hope you guys are doing fine as well in whatever you are doing.. :)
Tuesday, November 02, 2010
Longing
Life is different without grandma around. There are rarely busyness, shouts, laughter to enliven the house. A lot of things have changed ever since as well, including myself.
I've recently made a huge decision. It ain't easy, in fact one of the hardest I've ever made. But then, to think of the reasons behind it, of how much courage I've earned to make it happen.. I hope it'll be worth it. There is nothing I ask more for now than to live in the present, and aim for the future. Let the past be the guidance through the ways, as they should be. I wish you can see how in the process of growing up your little granddaughter is in now, Grannie. I know you'll tell me to do the same thing I do now.. I know I've been keeping this for too long. Still, I need to feel you support me grandma, is there any way?
Since today, I'll grow more. Since today, I'll be stronger. Since today, I'll be the best I can be.
l o v e,
W
I've recently made a huge decision. It ain't easy, in fact one of the hardest I've ever made. But then, to think of the reasons behind it, of how much courage I've earned to make it happen.. I hope it'll be worth it. There is nothing I ask more for now than to live in the present, and aim for the future. Let the past be the guidance through the ways, as they should be. I wish you can see how in the process of growing up your little granddaughter is in now, Grannie. I know you'll tell me to do the same thing I do now.. I know I've been keeping this for too long. Still, I need to feel you support me grandma, is there any way?
Since today, I'll grow more. Since today, I'll be stronger. Since today, I'll be the best I can be.
l o v e,
W
Thursday, October 28, 2010
My forever and always, guardian angel.
Problems, incidents have come rushing since the last few months. Life-changing perceptions, views, motivations aren't easy to handle with when there aren't the loved ones to hold on to. True it is, family and friends are right within my arms length whenever I'm in trouble, or not.
Little did I know..little did everybody know, our family would come to grief and lost a family member, physically. Two months ago, exactly two months ago..was the last night I got to spend with my Grandma. Her soul had left this world the next morning..it's her body that remained still, lifeless. It was the first time ever.. EVER.. I prayed I was not in reality..that I was just in somewhere else, in my sleep. I couldn't believe this would finally happen..I would lose someone I love most, a family member, forever.
The person who was and still is hurt most, who couldn't help regretting and ignoring the reality up til now, will be my dearest father. He was not around during the last time of grandma's life, he was out of town for a few days. Never in my life I had seen my Dad in such sorrow.. feeling such agony. My dad was very, very, strong. Many times he pretended to remain calm, tried to move on, yet everybody knew, deep inside he was screaming out loud..hoping if by any chance, any chance he could at least say goodbye, he would exchange it to anything.
The following days were blurry..I couldn't recall much the happenings, the atmosphere that overwhelmed the whole family members, relatives, and friends. None of them believed my Grandma had passed away.. n o n e of them. She was clearly in the pink of health, with ability to shout, walk slowly, or even cook by herself. She wasn't showing any sign of sicknesses, or was in one, when she left. But then again, I'm grateful she left definitely in peace, considering how many times she had been hospitalized the past few months during the last time of her life.
The ritual of 49 days have passed.. yet each thing happened on that day remains fresh in my mind. Grandma had been such an angel during the time of her life..and I believe she is too, now. Thank you was never enough to express my gratitude, to have a wonderful, loving and caring person as you, Grandma, to have never stopped taking care of me any second of your life, to always have you as my guardian angel.
You may have physically gone for good, Grandma. But you will never truly leave me, or any of us, ever.
You will always be with us Grannie, a l w a y s ♥
Little did I know..little did everybody know, our family would come to grief and lost a family member, physically. Two months ago, exactly two months ago..was the last night I got to spend with my Grandma. Her soul had left this world the next morning..it's her body that remained still, lifeless. It was the first time ever.. EVER.. I prayed I was not in reality..that I was just in somewhere else, in my sleep. I couldn't believe this would finally happen..I would lose someone I love most, a family member, forever.
The person who was and still is hurt most, who couldn't help regretting and ignoring the reality up til now, will be my dearest father. He was not around during the last time of grandma's life, he was out of town for a few days. Never in my life I had seen my Dad in such sorrow.. feeling such agony. My dad was very, very, strong. Many times he pretended to remain calm, tried to move on, yet everybody knew, deep inside he was screaming out loud..hoping if by any chance, any chance he could at least say goodbye, he would exchange it to anything.
The following days were blurry..I couldn't recall much the happenings, the atmosphere that overwhelmed the whole family members, relatives, and friends. None of them believed my Grandma had passed away.. n o n e of them. She was clearly in the pink of health, with ability to shout, walk slowly, or even cook by herself. She wasn't showing any sign of sicknesses, or was in one, when she left. But then again, I'm grateful she left definitely in peace, considering how many times she had been hospitalized the past few months during the last time of her life.
The ritual of 49 days have passed.. yet each thing happened on that day remains fresh in my mind. Grandma had been such an angel during the time of her life..and I believe she is too, now. Thank you was never enough to express my gratitude, to have a wonderful, loving and caring person as you, Grandma, to have never stopped taking care of me any second of your life, to always have you as my guardian angel.
You may have physically gone for good, Grandma. But you will never truly leave me, or any of us, ever.
You will always be with us Grannie, a l w a y s ♥
Sunday, August 08, 2010
some things are better left unspoken, no?
Who has the right to control your emotion? Your present feeling? No one, but you.
With regard to the previous post, I have had so much in my mind to think of. For the countless times, my mind and heart are fighting again to find out who's the winner for some moment. Yesterday my heart was the winner, today it still is. Ever since I failed to control over my own heart, I have attempted to support my mind to win this endless match. Sometimes I get sick and tired, and pause for a while. At this moment, my mind wins. But other times my heart would wake up and fight to find its mate. Yearning the times when it was pampered by his. True it is, it takes a short while to fall for love, and may take a lifetime to forget. Well, I don't really like this version of mine when it comes to talk about this particular matter. 'cause I'll become so fragile..so strength-less. But then again, I remind myself, everybody else has ever been in most conditions I felt, and they breezed through them..so why can't I?
Having asking the solution from a friend of mine, I feel like regaining back the strength. I had made myself clear today when I stated out some points that made me feel this way. Surprised as I was, they are not actually worth the pain. Re-reading what I typed to a friend this evening, I feel that all this time I am not in the side I think I am. Returning back to the right path is what I'm struggling right this moment.
Sorry to have been filling you with intangible writings recently. Many times when I feel sentimental I type so much trying to make things clearer but still confuses me anyway haha :p
Oh yes, about (hectic) school life, senior high students at Sutomo 1 (I'm not sure with junior high) will definitely be facing a stressful moment soon (geniuses excluded). First monthly exam of this semester is about to begin in...less than a week. The problem is, from next Monday until Wednesday we will be having holidays! yes it's a problem if I can't concentrate myself, which usually happens on holidays. :\ Gosh I REALLY NEED to do my best this time. Ain't gonna let regrets haunting me after results are out. This time should be reaaaaaaaaaal serious please Winny! For the future, FOR THE FUTURE! :X
With regard to the previous post, I have had so much in my mind to think of. For the countless times, my mind and heart are fighting again to find out who's the winner for some moment. Yesterday my heart was the winner, today it still is. Ever since I failed to control over my own heart, I have attempted to support my mind to win this endless match. Sometimes I get sick and tired, and pause for a while. At this moment, my mind wins. But other times my heart would wake up and fight to find its mate. Yearning the times when it was pampered by his. True it is, it takes a short while to fall for love, and may take a lifetime to forget. Well, I don't really like this version of mine when it comes to talk about this particular matter. 'cause I'll become so fragile..so strength-less. But then again, I remind myself, everybody else has ever been in most conditions I felt, and they breezed through them..so why can't I?
Having asking the solution from a friend of mine, I feel like regaining back the strength. I had made myself clear today when I stated out some points that made me feel this way. Surprised as I was, they are not actually worth the pain. Re-reading what I typed to a friend this evening, I feel that all this time I am not in the side I think I am. Returning back to the right path is what I'm struggling right this moment.
Sorry to have been filling you with intangible writings recently. Many times when I feel sentimental I type so much trying to make things clearer but still confuses me anyway haha :p
Oh yes, about (hectic) school life, senior high students at Sutomo 1 (I'm not sure with junior high) will definitely be facing a stressful moment soon (geniuses excluded). First monthly exam of this semester is about to begin in...less than a week. The problem is, from next Monday until Wednesday we will be having holidays! yes it's a problem if I can't concentrate myself, which usually happens on holidays. :\ Gosh I REALLY NEED to do my best this time. Ain't gonna let regrets haunting me after results are out. This time should be reaaaaaaaaaal serious please Winny! For the future, FOR THE FUTURE! :X
Thursday, August 05, 2010
A smile is a curved line that sets things straight. (:
Today was a very happy and special day..for me. Not because 5th August was a special day or whatsoever but maybe I shall add this date into my "Memorable Dates List" :)
First, I woke up very early in the morning (early I mean half past six :p) and successfully arrived school long enough before the bell rang. :)
Second, I did nothing special besides doing what I have been doing for the last one week..Maybe this only dearests and I know :)
Third, I spent many lessons not feeling very well because of the sweet dream I had last night. It was utterly sweet which was why it bothered the reality :\
Last but not least, my mood suddenly turned became a (very) ecstatic one because of that tiny..meaningful thing :) That tiny thing successfully gives me a reason to smile till now and highlighted today! ♥
I honestly am not very aware of what I'm about to do or face. Everything just seems so..wonderful that I wouldn't want to miss a spec of second by having too much thought about it. Well, I know I should actually rethink of what has been happening to me lately. I can finally have the joy of the feeling I've been desperately missing all this time..and I'm back under a magic spell. Sad to say, I can never really feel the same anymore since my mind has taken half of the whole part. Well actually it is a good thing...for me, and my future. So yes, it's not fully sad :)
All I can hope is not to let it take control over me...not anymore. I've learned the lesson, gained the experience. I keep telling myself that every single thing I do now will affect not only my present, but mostly future. Again, all of these will worth it... I will make them do. Blessing, strength, and support..are the ones I need to have more right this moment ♥ :)
First, I woke up very early in the morning (early I mean half past six :p) and successfully arrived school long enough before the bell rang. :)
Second, I did nothing special besides doing what I have been doing for the last one week..Maybe this only dearests and I know :)
Third, I spent many lessons not feeling very well because of the sweet dream I had last night. It was utterly sweet which was why it bothered the reality :\
Last but not least, my mood suddenly turned became a (very) ecstatic one because of that tiny..meaningful thing :) That tiny thing successfully gives me a reason to smile till now and highlighted today! ♥
I honestly am not very aware of what I'm about to do or face. Everything just seems so..wonderful that I wouldn't want to miss a spec of second by having too much thought about it. Well, I know I should actually rethink of what has been happening to me lately. I can finally have the joy of the feeling I've been desperately missing all this time..and I'm back under a magic spell. Sad to say, I can never really feel the same anymore since my mind has taken half of the whole part. Well actually it is a good thing...for me, and my future. So yes, it's not fully sad :)
All I can hope is not to let it take control over me...not anymore. I've learned the lesson, gained the experience. I keep telling myself that every single thing I do now will affect not only my present, but mostly future. Again, all of these will worth it... I will make them do. Blessing, strength, and support..are the ones I need to have more right this moment ♥ :)
Saturday, July 31, 2010
pictures of the day
the very pity three-legged doggy :/
flowers :D
Today was the selection of Sutomo Photography Class extracurricular. Since the registering students were too much, a selection was held. First the applicants had to answer the basic questions regarding photography for the theoretical test. And second, for the practical test, only those who were pointed did that to give examples for the whole crowd. I was one of them. Actually at first, the head of the committee chose randomly to take shots of the 'Converse shoe' pencil case. After that, he began to choose for the more professional (that's what he said), and I was the first to be pointed out. I probably know why he thought I was 'more professional'. He did mention something 'blog' so I guess he did read a post of me going to learn the basic photography skill. Gosh I was astonished, at first. Luckily, I took control of my nervousness and managed to produce a not-bad picture. Phewhh XO
All pictures taken at Jati Mas Housing Complex
Friday, July 23, 2010
The reasons behind blogging
I have so many happenings in my life to share with my blog. But first of all, in this post, I would like to re-talk about why I created this blog with this address years ago.
My name is Winny Teh. Since I don't really the way like my name appears on the blog address, I decided to translate my surname into 'tea' which means the same as 'teh' in Indonesian. So, it is practically not because I don't like my name..I ♥ my name, that I can assure you.
My first aim when creating this blog is to improve my English. But as time goes by, it has started to grow inside me, then I began to realize it has already become one of my most loyal sharing partners.
Most of the time, I blog when I feel very down or very up with my life. My blog is also my way of connecting with the world..although I admit, I don't have many readers, and I'm very fine with that.
My friends had many times told me that I sometimes reveal too much of the private details about my life..the things that only my family and close friends should have known. Since I rarely type with names and precise details on, I think it's actually quite okay. Besides, I think people have their own business more important to mind than mine (:
I also would like to explain the reason why I rarely blog..although inside I'm screaming to post one entry each day. Many times when I feel unstable, I feel like needing someone to listen or to advise me. My blog is one of first things that would cross my mind. But then I would make up my mind because I know..once I've started typing, it is hard to stop. The thing is that I don't want too many people despite my closest ones to know too much important details I could state- moreover when I'm unstable-about me and my life. It's pointless, and could be harmful, I think.
Years ahead from now, I would love to reminisce all of the important blessings that have ever happened in my life-particularly school life. How I felt at the moment, what was my reaction, the people, everything! -this is also the aim of my blog.
Soo, I've already made things quite clear, haven't I? :)
This blog is never aiming to harm anybody, as it is only (as I've mentioned) my sharing partner. I write about the blissful and precious happenings in my life, the lessons learned, and everything important to me. So thank you for letting me share this diary of mine.. :)
My name is Winny Teh. Since I don't really the way like my name appears on the blog address, I decided to translate my surname into 'tea' which means the same as 'teh' in Indonesian. So, it is practically not because I don't like my name..I ♥ my name, that I can assure you.
My first aim when creating this blog is to improve my English. But as time goes by, it has started to grow inside me, then I began to realize it has already become one of my most loyal sharing partners.
Most of the time, I blog when I feel very down or very up with my life. My blog is also my way of connecting with the world..although I admit, I don't have many readers, and I'm very fine with that.
My friends had many times told me that I sometimes reveal too much of the private details about my life..the things that only my family and close friends should have known. Since I rarely type with names and precise details on, I think it's actually quite okay. Besides, I think people have their own business more important to mind than mine (:
I also would like to explain the reason why I rarely blog..although inside I'm screaming to post one entry each day. Many times when I feel unstable, I feel like needing someone to listen or to advise me. My blog is one of first things that would cross my mind. But then I would make up my mind because I know..once I've started typing, it is hard to stop. The thing is that I don't want too many people despite my closest ones to know too much important details I could state- moreover when I'm unstable-about me and my life. It's pointless, and could be harmful, I think.
Years ahead from now, I would love to reminisce all of the important blessings that have ever happened in my life-particularly school life. How I felt at the moment, what was my reaction, the people, everything! -this is also the aim of my blog.
Soo, I've already made things quite clear, haven't I? :)
This blog is never aiming to harm anybody, as it is only (as I've mentioned) my sharing partner. I write about the blissful and precious happenings in my life, the lessons learned, and everything important to me. So thank you for letting me share this diary of mine.. :)
I ♥ YOU..
Sometimes, after years of a thing once happened in your life, you will think you might have forgotten how exactly the thing feels or looks like..or that it will surely not affect you when you look at it now. I used to be one of the loyal believer..before I experienced it myself. Time heals, they say, but that doesn't really apply to me, I guess. Even though I have left out many of the tiny details, the used-to-be important ones have never left my mind. Not up til now.
I didn't realize those things I typed above before the last lesson of school today. When the Indonesian language teacher asked us to write a short story, the first thing that came across my mind was (always and have been) the happy memories. Ironic, I guess, considering how long had that event taken place. Moreover, series of events had passed by, and that was the first to come across as though it has been the greatest blessing ever happened up til now. Sad to say, it isn't easy for me to forget any of them. Because, time goes along with the memories..as if they had just currently happened to me.
********************************************
Last Saturday was my Granny's 84th Birthday ♥♥♥
Ever since I was a child, ever since I can remember, my granny was the one who practically did all of the taking-care. Her affection towards all of her grandchildren..her worries, and everything..was the way she loves us. Even though a cousin of mine had had 2 sons aged around 8 and 10, my granny still had not got over worrying him every day and night..let alone when my cousin is sick. My granny is the only person on earth with the kindness and love that has never faded with time. She prioritizes all of her children and grandchildren before herself. She's also the one all of the family members worry about most of the time, because of her weak body and over-worried habit. She's the role model of metta for me. I ♥ YOU Grandma.
I didn't realize those things I typed above before the last lesson of school today. When the Indonesian language teacher asked us to write a short story, the first thing that came across my mind was (always and have been) the happy memories. Ironic, I guess, considering how long had that event taken place. Moreover, series of events had passed by, and that was the first to come across as though it has been the greatest blessing ever happened up til now. Sad to say, it isn't easy for me to forget any of them. Because, time goes along with the memories..as if they had just currently happened to me.
********************************************
Last Saturday was my Granny's 84th Birthday ♥♥♥
Ever since I was a child, ever since I can remember, my granny was the one who practically did all of the taking-care. Her affection towards all of her grandchildren..her worries, and everything..was the way she loves us. Even though a cousin of mine had had 2 sons aged around 8 and 10, my granny still had not got over worrying him every day and night..let alone when my cousin is sick. My granny is the only person on earth with the kindness and love that has never faded with time. She prioritizes all of her children and grandchildren before herself. She's also the one all of the family members worry about most of the time, because of her weak body and over-worried habit. She's the role model of metta for me. I ♥ YOU Grandma.
now SHE, is the greatest blessing ever happened in my life..♥♥
Wednesday, July 07, 2010
The Third year of senior high is about to start in a blink of an eye. One last year left to savor my senior high...o n e.Sad to say, some of my classmates and close friends had to leave Science-2 this year. How unfair the headmistress is..GRRR Fortunately, we won't have to face her anymore, as she is about to retire in no time. The next principal would be our Chemistry and new Form teacher, Mr Khoe Tjok Tjin. As far as I know, he masters all materials we are learning or going to. A total genius, I would say! I'm happy for him, we all do! But this means, he won't be teaching Chemistry anymore.. let alone be our form teacher this year :(
School starts tomorrow, as well as my vacation trip. I'm departing to Singapore tonight before heading to Hong Kong. This is a (too) sudden trip! Since my eldest and elder sisters have got home for several days, and the internal family is complete, Daddy planned to have a trip overseas. I'm going to enjoy every bit of it :)
Today is Viona Vabella Tjioe's BIG DAY. This tiny but awfully-smart girl is finally stepping the age of 17 :)
Too bad I can't attend her party this weekend, but no big deal eh girl, my best wishes for youu ♥
Wish me a pleasant trip, will you? :)
School starts tomorrow, as well as my vacation trip. I'm departing to Singapore tonight before heading to Hong Kong. This is a (too) sudden trip! Since my eldest and elder sisters have got home for several days, and the internal family is complete, Daddy planned to have a trip overseas. I'm going to enjoy every bit of it :)
Today is Viona Vabella Tjioe's BIG DAY. This tiny but awfully-smart girl is finally stepping the age of 17 :)
Too bad I can't attend her party this weekend, but no big deal eh girl, my best wishes for youu ♥
Wish me a pleasant trip, will you? :)
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Pre-Eclipse
GOOOOOSH does anyody notice it's 29th ALREADY?!?
Which means..
1. Tomorrow will be the Premier of Eclipse. *SCREAMM*, and
2. Third, which also the last, year of Senior High will start in 9 days. =p
Planning to watch Eclipse with Sally Cc, and my sister. :) Sally Cc is soooooo excited, she texted my sister asking us to bring trumpets along tomorrow..XP She's like a HUGE fan of Edward, the prove is in her blog :P
So sooooooo..which movie should I watch tonight? ;)
Which means..
1. Tomorrow will be the Premier of Eclipse. *SCREAMM*, and
2. Third, which also the last, year of Senior High will start in 9 days. =p
Planning to watch Eclipse with Sally Cc, and my sister. :) Sally Cc is soooooo excited, she texted my sister asking us to bring trumpets along tomorrow..XP She's like a HUGE fan of Edward, the prove is in her blog :P
So sooooooo..which movie should I watch tonight? ;)
Monday, June 28, 2010
Dear my SuperDad
"I've never given much thought to how I would die...
but to die in the place of someone I love..seems like a good way to go."
-Bella Swan.
Things happened these few weeks of holiday had caused me to ponder a lot..which is, I think, good. I have not been using much of my brain's ability for quite some time, and unlike what I used to think, thinking about studies is easier than about life problems.
Dad..has often been the one to make me conscious of all those. His unreasonable scoldings, angers, protection, and love towards me are his ways of bringing me up. Although, to tell to truth, I dislike them. At good times, he showers me with unconditional love, give me almost everything that I wish for, and make me believe that nothing impossible for me to reach. But in return, he puts high expectations on me. Not only in education, but in everyday life's matters. High risks, high returns..I know. But I can't stand disappointing him anymore. The stern scoldings, harsh words, when my work was nothing up to his expectations.
They are just very high, I can tell. It's not like they're impossible, but I just need to learn first step by step. I'm not born having all the requirements of a wonder girl. Yeah, I aim to be one, I always do. But now, I'm not even close to it, Daddy, not yet.
TIME. That's what I lack..but keep wasting. To make the full use of it, and my mind, that's what I'm aiming for.
I promise you..someday, someway, I will be the way I should be. And by that time, I hope you will still walk with your head up, chin high, when telling people I am your daughter. Just like the way I am now when I mention to anybody about you.
-Bella Swan.
Things happened these few weeks of holiday had caused me to ponder a lot..which is, I think, good. I have not been using much of my brain's ability for quite some time, and unlike what I used to think, thinking about studies is easier than about life problems.
Dad..has often been the one to make me conscious of all those. His unreasonable scoldings, angers, protection, and love towards me are his ways of bringing me up. Although, to tell to truth, I dislike them. At good times, he showers me with unconditional love, give me almost everything that I wish for, and make me believe that nothing impossible for me to reach. But in return, he puts high expectations on me. Not only in education, but in everyday life's matters. High risks, high returns..I know. But I can't stand disappointing him anymore. The stern scoldings, harsh words, when my work was nothing up to his expectations.
They are just very high, I can tell. It's not like they're impossible, but I just need to learn first step by step. I'm not born having all the requirements of a wonder girl. Yeah, I aim to be one, I always do. But now, I'm not even close to it, Daddy, not yet.
TIME. That's what I lack..but keep wasting. To make the full use of it, and my mind, that's what I'm aiming for.
I promise you..someday, someway, I will be the way I should be. And by that time, I hope you will still walk with your head up, chin high, when telling people I am your daughter. Just like the way I am now when I mention to anybody about you.
new blog template+Eclipse
I have just done some editing on my blog template and background. How does it look ? :D
I have never customized my own blog looks before, and I'm glad this one turns out good :p
Ah I went to watch A-Team with mommy, daddy and Ocie just now (yeah she's back alr :P). It's a worth-watching especially those who love not-too-serious action movies :)
ONE GOOD NEWS to share recently is another upcoming Twilight Saga series : Eclipse. :DD
I'm soooooo looking forward to it, and I hope it is worth-waiting ;) ohwells I've read the synopsis and it is exciting..now it just depends on the newbie movie director, David Slade.
I'm going to rewatch Twilight or New Moon now..just to refresh my memory before Eclipse :p
I have never customized my own blog looks before, and I'm glad this one turns out good :p
Ah I went to watch A-Team with mommy, daddy and Ocie just now (yeah she's back alr :P). It's a worth-watching especially those who love not-too-serious action movies :)
ONE GOOD NEWS to share recently is another upcoming Twilight Saga series : Eclipse. :DD
I'm soooooo looking forward to it, and I hope it is worth-waiting ;) ohwells I've read the synopsis and it is exciting..now it just depends on the newbie movie director, David Slade.
I'm going to rewatch Twilight or New Moon now..just to refresh my memory before Eclipse :p
Friday, June 18, 2010
meltinggg
When Sanrio marries Dr. Martens..
Goshhh how great is that? Now I'm thinking if only I did not buy a pair of Dr Martens last winter, now I will definitely ask for one of these! ><
But to think that the one I've bought has now been a decoration in my bedroom.. I will just save my money. It's quite uncomfortable to wear such boots in Medan. I mean, should I wear it to where? Sun Plaza? Huff
Howeverrr, they are totally cute! Sigh now I wish Indonesia has 3 seasons (Winter excluded) :(
Besides this good news for the Sanrio+Dr Marten fans, I have another good news for myself. I just realized that tomorrow will be the mayoral general election in Medan. Which means, tomorrow is a public holiday here and I won't have to go to miss anita's in the (very) early morning :p I actually enjoy her lesson very much.. but when it comes to homework, which of course I haven't done until now, I feel spiritless :( I guess I've had too much of lazy times on this holidays. My brain seems to have holidays as well that when I'm forced to think about homework and its species, I feel tired.. yea, GEEZ
Oh wells I shall continue watching Prince's Hours (again) :) it's getting exciting! Wahoooo!
Goshhh how great is that? Now I'm thinking if only I did not buy a pair of Dr Martens last winter, now I will definitely ask for one of these! ><
But to think that the one I've bought has now been a decoration in my bedroom.. I will just save my money. It's quite uncomfortable to wear such boots in Medan. I mean, should I wear it to where? Sun Plaza? Huff
Howeverrr, they are totally cute! Sigh now I wish Indonesia has 3 seasons (Winter excluded) :(
Besides this good news for the Sanrio+Dr Marten fans, I have another good news for myself. I just realized that tomorrow will be the mayoral general election in Medan. Which means, tomorrow is a public holiday here and I won't have to go to miss anita's in the (very) early morning :p I actually enjoy her lesson very much.. but when it comes to homework, which of course I haven't done until now, I feel spiritless :( I guess I've had too much of lazy times on this holidays. My brain seems to have holidays as well that when I'm forced to think about homework and its species, I feel tired.. yea, GEEZ
Oh wells I shall continue watching Prince's Hours (again) :) it's getting exciting! Wahoooo!
Thursday, June 17, 2010
HIP HIP HURRAY
VOCers are finally back! We first reunited at Robin's birthday dinner yesterday, and they all seemed to have regained their energy after a long exhausting trip. The Redangs had not stopped talking and the non-Redangs (me included) seemed to hurry catch up with things. HAHA there are TONS of stories, and we will catch up again tomorrow YEAY :p
I've been spending days and nights with DvDs these 3 days since I need to look after home in charge of grandma who was hospitalised. But no worries, she's going home tomorrow and all members of my family feel so grateful she is doing okay already :) Oh Thank You so much Buddha. Amithofo :D
In just 2 weeks Eclipse will be released! gawddd I can't waiiiiiiiiiiiitttttt. But when I imagine the will-be super-duper-long queue I think it's better to just wait for the DvD. sigh I hate the queue :(
Oh yes, I've never had interest in football, not the last time I remembered. But FIFA World Cup draws my attention (and the world too!) and I've watched two games POR-CD ended in 0-0, and just now ESP-SUI 0-1. Spain must be really down now, but anyway, Great job Switzerland! :D
Guess I'll continue watching Prince's Hours now. Yeah, I'm into not-so-new movies recently :p
PS, Karate Kid I'm coming. Wahoooooooooo X)
I've been spending days and nights with DvDs these 3 days since I need to look after home in charge of grandma who was hospitalised. But no worries, she's going home tomorrow and all members of my family feel so grateful she is doing okay already :) Oh Thank You so much Buddha. Amithofo :D
In just 2 weeks Eclipse will be released! gawddd I can't waiiiiiiiiiiiitttttt. But when I imagine the will-be super-duper-long queue I think it's better to just wait for the DvD. sigh I hate the queue :(
Oh yes, I've never had interest in football, not the last time I remembered. But FIFA World Cup draws my attention (and the world too!) and I've watched two games POR-CD ended in 0-0, and just now ESP-SUI 0-1. Spain must be really down now, but anyway, Great job Switzerland! :D
Guess I'll continue watching Prince's Hours now. Yeah, I'm into not-so-new movies recently :p
PS, Karate Kid I'm coming. Wahoooooooooo X)
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Oh please
Dear Readers,
I've just noticed that the visit number has increased for like 30 something in two nights. Well, I've always thought I've been writing to myself, but this time when I feel like someone's been visiting..I feel good. So Thank you :)
I've been intending to share some pictures about my trip to Pantai Cermin, but I guess I'll do that later 'cause there's been some other things bothering me lately..
I've currently into Bella and Edward..I don't know why. I've re-watched Twilight and New Moon this week which means I've watched each of them twice up till now. Their love makes me curious..I can never make the prediction easily like how the story would go. Well, I've not been reading any of Meyer's book about the series, and I enjoy keeping the predictions to myself whilst watching them :)
Besides all of the great things on holidays, there's been some problems that kind of distract my joy lately. I've been planning on having a great trip this end of June..but guess some things are not supportive. There has been many obstacles that seem to make any of it impossible. It's actually not a huge problem for the trip to be canceled.. but I just hope the obstacles can be soon wiped off. I don't expect any kind of these things to approach me especially on my free days. So please Buddha, I know I've been saying this over and over, make her fine..give her strength. I'm begging You ;( sadhu3x
I've just noticed that the visit number has increased for like 30 something in two nights. Well, I've always thought I've been writing to myself, but this time when I feel like someone's been visiting..I feel good. So Thank you :)
I've been intending to share some pictures about my trip to Pantai Cermin, but I guess I'll do that later 'cause there's been some other things bothering me lately..
I've currently into Bella and Edward..I don't know why. I've re-watched Twilight and New Moon this week which means I've watched each of them twice up till now. Their love makes me curious..I can never make the prediction easily like how the story would go. Well, I've not been reading any of Meyer's book about the series, and I enjoy keeping the predictions to myself whilst watching them :)
Besides all of the great things on holidays, there's been some problems that kind of distract my joy lately. I've been planning on having a great trip this end of June..but guess some things are not supportive. There has been many obstacles that seem to make any of it impossible. It's actually not a huge problem for the trip to be canceled.. but I just hope the obstacles can be soon wiped off. I don't expect any kind of these things to approach me especially on my free days. So please Buddha, I know I've been saying this over and over, make her fine..give her strength. I'm begging You ;( sadhu3x
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Pantai Cermin I'm cominggg
BOOOOOOO I'M GOING :D
Mom said yes and dad said up to you. Well, actually dad's "up to you" doesn't really mean that he allows me.. but anyway, he said I'm nearly a grown-up and I can think by myself. I give him a thousand reasons not to worry too much, and of course I WILL take care of myself! besides, my maid is coming with me, many of the students will bring theirs too tomorrow. At least that will make my daddy feel less-worried, someone's gonna look after when something's not right :P
I totally hope tomorrow will be sunny! not just the day but also my mood. sometimes I just can't control my own mood and that I ruin the day I'm actually looking forward to. GEE tomorrow isn't gonna happen that way! SO yes, I need to have a fuullll rest tonight and let tomorrow be another memorable history (;
NIGHTY NIGHT WORLD!
Wednesday, June 09, 2010
wishes waiting to be granted
First Day was fine. I only did input 2 books of data which was requested by mom. I went home right after finished inputting as I had to attend my piano lesson in the evening. Since I still got one and a half hour before the lesson, and both of my hands felt so numb, I decided to take a short nap. But guess what, it wasn't 'short'.. unless you call a 2-hour sleep a short nap. I hurried to the bathroom to fresh myself, changed clothes, then went straight to the lesson. sigh I was 40 minutes late and I only have 20 minutes left before the lesson ended =.=
Today was the second day. Although I'd set 2 alarms to wake me up, I still woke up (very) late. Well, it was reasonable as I watched Valentine's Day until 1 and went to bed at 2 a.m :q. So I went to the office at 4 pm since daddy said he would be going out and would call me when he returned to the office. I've got nothing to do today except observing how Dad's 'right-hand' discussed things with Dad. I promise myself not to be late tomorrow as dad asked me to help one of the employers tomorrow :)
anyways, I've just bought around sixteen DVDs recently. Four of them are series movies. I know it was quite a number but I will soon finish watching all of them :P OHYES I've just registered myself to a Basic Class of Photography :D The lesson consists of 8 meetings and I will have two each week. 20% will be about the theory and 80% will be the practical :) I'm sooo excited but nervous as well. I will be going there by myself and I'm afraid that I will be the only newbie in photography. Aih I should start reading the manual book of EOS 550D soon as the first step (;
Remember I wrote about the Pajang's family? They're holding a gathering this Thursday at Pantai Cermin. And my lovely teacher kept asking me to join them (around 30 students). She knows it won't be easy to have the permission but she said she was really hoping I would be there, as she had not seen me for so long ;) well it's true. Since I entered senior high school, life has turned me into a busy-bee every day. I had only caught up twice with her and others. And I miss how they used to fill my days every day back then in junior-high (; which is why I NEED to attend this reunion, but then daddy has always been the obstacle :( he said he would think for 2-3 days before he answered me. well, tomorrow is the deadline, and I'm getting more terrified each day thinking what if he doesn't approve? sigh I really hope I could be there, Daddy. =s
Medan has been raining heavily like every night which is very worrying. The bolts which followed the rain have always frightened me. GEZ
Oh yes! I forgot to mention that many of the VOC-ers are now having a memorable trip in Redang ;D they started their journey on 6th of June and now they have reached the wonderful Redang Island. I bet all of them are enjoying every minute of the time they are together :P FYI, they have planned this trip for like 10 months ago and they all were looking forward to this day ever since. Too bad I wasn't allowed to join them, but then I'm Happy for them :D
Going to continue watching Dvd :p will blog again tomorrow!
I shall make it!
Today was the second day. Although I'd set 2 alarms to wake me up, I still woke up (very) late. Well, it was reasonable as I watched Valentine's Day until 1 and went to bed at 2 a.m :q. So I went to the office at 4 pm since daddy said he would be going out and would call me when he returned to the office. I've got nothing to do today except observing how Dad's 'right-hand' discussed things with Dad. I promise myself not to be late tomorrow as dad asked me to help one of the employers tomorrow :)
anyways, I've just bought around sixteen DVDs recently. Four of them are series movies. I know it was quite a number but I will soon finish watching all of them :P OHYES I've just registered myself to a Basic Class of Photography :D The lesson consists of 8 meetings and I will have two each week. 20% will be about the theory and 80% will be the practical :) I'm sooo excited but nervous as well. I will be going there by myself and I'm afraid that I will be the only newbie in photography. Aih I should start reading the manual book of EOS 550D soon as the first step (;
Remember I wrote about the Pajang's family? They're holding a gathering this Thursday at Pantai Cermin. And my lovely teacher kept asking me to join them (around 30 students). She knows it won't be easy to have the permission but she said she was really hoping I would be there, as she had not seen me for so long ;) well it's true. Since I entered senior high school, life has turned me into a busy-bee every day. I had only caught up twice with her and others. And I miss how they used to fill my days every day back then in junior-high (; which is why I NEED to attend this reunion, but then daddy has always been the obstacle :( he said he would think for 2-3 days before he answered me. well, tomorrow is the deadline, and I'm getting more terrified each day thinking what if he doesn't approve? sigh I really hope I could be there, Daddy. =s
Medan has been raining heavily like every night which is very worrying. The bolts which followed the rain have always frightened me. GEZ
Oh yes! I forgot to mention that many of the VOC-ers are now having a memorable trip in Redang ;D they started their journey on 6th of June and now they have reached the wonderful Redang Island. I bet all of them are enjoying every minute of the time they are together :P FYI, they have planned this trip for like 10 months ago and they all were looking forward to this day ever since. Too bad I wasn't allowed to join them, but then I'm Happy for them :D
Going to continue watching Dvd :p will blog again tomorrow!
I shall make it!
Monday, June 07, 2010
amazed
blogging was in my To-Do list but then I seem to have too many things I would like to share and don't know where to start.
Exam was fine. I hope I did good enough. By 'good enough' I mean I could fulfill the requirements to stay at the plus class. I SHOULD stay there- I've got too comfortable with the environment and friends- I HAVE TO. (:
It's true that LIFE FEELS SWEETER ON HOLIDAYS, don't you think? I've got the whole time to do what I want to, without having to feel guilty. Since the first day of the exam, I'd got my mind on this one-month break and the tons of plans to do. I kept on pushing myself to do the best I could as NO REGRETS are expected on holidays. (Although now I still have a little guilt in me and (again) cursed myself for not being discipline to revise all subjects far before exam.) But when I reached the end of the exam and went home, all my plans seemed to fade one by one. Gee I guessed I was just tooooooo excited that I got confused on which one to do first :P
Talking about plans, I'm in the middle of confusion whether to take photography and cloth-designing classes or not. I actually am interested with both of them, but I'm afraid that they will turn out not like what I expect. Photography class is very much considered as I begin to show some enthusiasm towards it recently. But, in cloth-designing, there are still aspects I need to consider carefully before I finally make the decision. Or else I'm afraid it would not have a happy ending; and I don't want to waste such big sum of money on that.
Oh Yes, I forgot to mention about my CANON EOS 550D ♥
I had it before exam. And since daddy paid it for me first, I asked for his account number so I could transfer such amount of money to him. Guess what, HE LAUGHED AT ME. I said I was really planning to buy it with my own pocket money, then he answered if I was serious then I should actually go to the office to work with him, not necessarily transferring any money to him. Then I thought it was not a bad idea too as I could gain new experience on this holiday, and make use of this opportunity to train myself. Tomorrow will be the first day I take part in Dad's job. I know it won't be easy but it's the only way I could help daddy and I hope I don't spoil. :)
Oh yes, I think my health is in trouble recently. Seems like all the pain I hold during exam are now showing themselves one by one. I've had one migraine, dizziness, days with lack of sleep, and now, stomachache. Still thankful they didn't appear during exam.
Talking about life.. It has given me so many surprises in just these few days of holidays. I think I've grown more mature.. and blessed. Suddenly all my positive thoughts- which I think have just returned from a long holiday -began to fill me again. I feel that I am now more capable of handling things around me and not taking every single thing people say as serious as before. I've given myself a time to relax my mind and see life in a different perception. Seriously, I didn't even dare to imagine things will turn out like they are now. But as I'm feeling more comfortable, I begin to worry that they will all disappear without my notice.. again. But since I've hardly gained the ability of letting go, I believe this time and many other times in the future I would be able to make it again, if that's what it takes. So Yeah, I'm not going to allow myself to live in regrets, and for being so fragile anymore. Especially not for that particular reason. (:
I should be going to the dreamland soon. Oh I hope I will do great on my first day :)
xoxoxoxo
Exam was fine. I hope I did good enough. By 'good enough' I mean I could fulfill the requirements to stay at the plus class. I SHOULD stay there- I've got too comfortable with the environment and friends- I HAVE TO. (:
It's true that LIFE FEELS SWEETER ON HOLIDAYS, don't you think? I've got the whole time to do what I want to, without having to feel guilty. Since the first day of the exam, I'd got my mind on this one-month break and the tons of plans to do. I kept on pushing myself to do the best I could as NO REGRETS are expected on holidays. (Although now I still have a little guilt in me and (again) cursed myself for not being discipline to revise all subjects far before exam.) But when I reached the end of the exam and went home, all my plans seemed to fade one by one. Gee I guessed I was just tooooooo excited that I got confused on which one to do first :P
Talking about plans, I'm in the middle of confusion whether to take photography and cloth-designing classes or not. I actually am interested with both of them, but I'm afraid that they will turn out not like what I expect. Photography class is very much considered as I begin to show some enthusiasm towards it recently. But, in cloth-designing, there are still aspects I need to consider carefully before I finally make the decision. Or else I'm afraid it would not have a happy ending; and I don't want to waste such big sum of money on that.
Oh Yes, I forgot to mention about my CANON EOS 550D ♥
I had it before exam. And since daddy paid it for me first, I asked for his account number so I could transfer such amount of money to him. Guess what, HE LAUGHED AT ME. I said I was really planning to buy it with my own pocket money, then he answered if I was serious then I should actually go to the office to work with him, not necessarily transferring any money to him. Then I thought it was not a bad idea too as I could gain new experience on this holiday, and make use of this opportunity to train myself. Tomorrow will be the first day I take part in Dad's job. I know it won't be easy but it's the only way I could help daddy and I hope I don't spoil. :)
Oh yes, I think my health is in trouble recently. Seems like all the pain I hold during exam are now showing themselves one by one. I've had one migraine, dizziness, days with lack of sleep, and now, stomachache. Still thankful they didn't appear during exam.
Talking about life.. It has given me so many surprises in just these few days of holidays. I think I've grown more mature.. and blessed. Suddenly all my positive thoughts- which I think have just returned from a long holiday -began to fill me again. I feel that I am now more capable of handling things around me and not taking every single thing people say as serious as before. I've given myself a time to relax my mind and see life in a different perception. Seriously, I didn't even dare to imagine things will turn out like they are now. But as I'm feeling more comfortable, I begin to worry that they will all disappear without my notice.. again. But since I've hardly gained the ability of letting go, I believe this time and many other times in the future I would be able to make it again, if that's what it takes. So Yeah, I'm not going to allow myself to live in regrets, and for being so fragile anymore. Especially not for that particular reason. (:
I should be going to the dreamland soon. Oh I hope I will do great on my first day :)
xoxoxoxo
Monday, May 03, 2010
A Day To Be Joyful and Learn
Yesterday- 2nd May, 2010
I did great today by making sure to myself that every plan would turn out good. And I'm so glad it came true :b
At first my plan to see a movie was nearly canceled. Since I couldn't stand waiting in the (very) looooong queue at 21cinema with my empty stomach, I decided to return after lunch. Well, I expected the vision of another long queue but then I guess we (me and karvina)were lucky. It was 2.30 p.m and we kind of expecting Iron Man2 back-seat tickets were still available, but then 3 studios' tickets were full (can you imagine?) until 9 pm. We had no other option except IP Man2, and after both of us agreed, we bought 2 tickets of the movie shown at 3.10 p.m in row A. :)
I bought plenty of things yesterday and ate a loott @.@ BUT they brightened up my mood :P
Mom was home yesterday and she bought me a lot of clothes and accessories. ALL of them are Korean style. Geez if I didn't know where she went, I would've thought she was home from Korea (X
I realized I had typed some words yesterday that would no doubt hurt my mother if she read them. I know all this time I keep telling myself I should be patient, I should listen, I should think. I have NEVER wanted my mother to hurt my mother and I love her sooooo much, I mean it. Sometimes I just can't think clearly as my ego seemed to start blocking the whole view of the goods one of her. My craving for permanent freedom, I guess.
Well, one thing I may not truly understand now is how hard to be a mother is. She has to be caring, loving, and patient. She also has to be firm to us every time we make mistakes. She has to be a loving wife, a hardworking career woman, a caring mother, as well as a well-behaved daughter-in-law. To play such massive role in our family may be quite impossible, but I am sure to say, all of US have never doubt my love for her. I know I can never thank you enough after all you've done and will keep on doing for me, for US. ♥
I'm so sorry for hurting youuu :(
I ♥ YOU MOTHER, I REALLY DO.
I did great today by making sure to myself that every plan would turn out good. And I'm so glad it came true :b
At first my plan to see a movie was nearly canceled. Since I couldn't stand waiting in the (very) looooong queue at 21cinema with my empty stomach, I decided to return after lunch. Well, I expected the vision of another long queue but then I guess we (me and karvina)were lucky. It was 2.30 p.m and we kind of expecting Iron Man2 back-seat tickets were still available, but then 3 studios' tickets were full (can you imagine?) until 9 pm. We had no other option except IP Man2, and after both of us agreed, we bought 2 tickets of the movie shown at 3.10 p.m in row A. :)
I bought plenty of things yesterday and ate a loott @.@ BUT they brightened up my mood :P
Mom was home yesterday and she bought me a lot of clothes and accessories. ALL of them are Korean style. Geez if I didn't know where she went, I would've thought she was home from Korea (X
I realized I had typed some words yesterday that would no doubt hurt my mother if she read them. I know all this time I keep telling myself I should be patient, I should listen, I should think. I have NEVER wanted my mother to hurt my mother and I love her sooooo much, I mean it. Sometimes I just can't think clearly as my ego seemed to start blocking the whole view of the goods one of her. My craving for permanent freedom, I guess.
Well, one thing I may not truly understand now is how hard to be a mother is. She has to be caring, loving, and patient. She also has to be firm to us every time we make mistakes. She has to be a loving wife, a hardworking career woman, a caring mother, as well as a well-behaved daughter-in-law. To play such massive role in our family may be quite impossible, but I am sure to say, all of US have never doubt my love for her. I know I can never thank you enough after all you've done and will keep on doing for me, for US. ♥
I'm so sorry for hurting youuu :(
I ♥ YOU MOTHER, I REALLY DO.
Sunday, May 02, 2010
Be blessed.
OH MY.
I seriously don't know what's going on with today, or what's going on with me. I think I need to flower-bathed now.
First,
Today is the National Education Day. Then our class and several other plus classes' students were asked to attend a ceremony at school today, which of course we protested. Having to wake up in 6 ( although I might be at 7 :p ) on once-in-a-week holiday is too early! who would've not protested?
Then guess what, yes, I WASN'T THERE. I slept at 1 (again!) this morning, and I had reminded myself -no matter what- to wake up early at 6.30. I wanted to prove to myself that even though mom and dad are not around, I can still be discipline. Isn't that always has been one of my attempts to show that I'm a grown-up already? But then, I can't even prove it to myself! BIG SIGH*
Second,
As I didn't want to worsen my Sunday, I prepared myself to attend the Sunday Class earlier. Then guess what? It's on holiday, and I didn't know that! )x
I begin to wonder if those are punishments for me. For sleeping too late, being a procrastinator these 2 weeks. :X
well then, mom is home in no time and I will return to my old habit. No online at night. Revise every night. Not allowed to do any of my passions in weekdays. and SO ON. which I conclude I AM NOT ALLOWED TO BE MYSELF AND DO WHAT I WANT EXCEPT STUDYING AND STUDYING ON WEEKDAYS. Sometimes on weekends I would also be lectured for being so lazy.
MY GAWD, merely thinking of those make me feel nausea. When will my mom actually release me from this what-I-call the cage of torment? :/ The answer is in myself, I know.
I've had several plans ahead for today. I truly wish none of the unexpected things will occur again in the date with my dear later.
Oh Buddha, shall You bless Your devotee for she has been committing wrongdoings lately. Sadhu.. sadhu.. sadhu.
I seriously don't know what's going on with today, or what's going on with me. I think I need to flower-bathed now.
First,
Today is the National Education Day. Then our class and several other plus classes' students were asked to attend a ceremony at school today, which of course we protested. Having to wake up in 6 ( although I might be at 7 :p ) on once-in-a-week holiday is too early! who would've not protested?
Then guess what, yes, I WASN'T THERE. I slept at 1 (again!) this morning, and I had reminded myself -no matter what- to wake up early at 6.30. I wanted to prove to myself that even though mom and dad are not around, I can still be discipline. Isn't that always has been one of my attempts to show that I'm a grown-up already? But then, I can't even prove it to myself! BIG SIGH*
Second,
As I didn't want to worsen my Sunday, I prepared myself to attend the Sunday Class earlier. Then guess what? It's on holiday, and I didn't know that! )x
I begin to wonder if those are punishments for me. For sleeping too late, being a procrastinator these 2 weeks. :X
well then, mom is home in no time and I will return to my old habit. No online at night. Revise every night. Not allowed to do any of my passions in weekdays. and SO ON. which I conclude I AM NOT ALLOWED TO BE MYSELF AND DO WHAT I WANT EXCEPT STUDYING AND STUDYING ON WEEKDAYS. Sometimes on weekends I would also be lectured for being so lazy.
MY GAWD, merely thinking of those make me feel nausea. When will my mom actually release me from this what-I-call the cage of torment? :/ The answer is in myself, I know.
I've had several plans ahead for today. I truly wish none of the unexpected things will occur again in the date with my dear later.
Oh Buddha, shall You bless Your devotee for she has been committing wrongdoings lately. Sadhu.. sadhu.. sadhu.
Thursday, April 29, 2010
I d o n o t c a r e
Khaloong Shop dress :)
Until now, this dress is my most favorite online-ordered stuff :)
Today's problem makes me ponder a lot. Gee, what I dreaded most was the thought that people can change in such short time. A friend that you consider is your best friend, may no longer be one. scary huh :/
I feel a bit more relieved now. I've told things that have been bothering me for more than 2 months, and you've heard all of them. Just so you know, if only you yourself would at least try to understand, we wouldn't need to say such words and mean them. Now it's up to you whether you choose to listen or not. Or you would instead create a distance between us. NO SUCH BIG DEAL for me :)
I've also learned that people should watch what they say. Just like Jason Mraz's song lyrics in ' Try Try Try', "words are weapons if you don't use them carefully". Even when you are feeling the worst, you should always consider others' feeling too.
Last but not least, you can always be who you are, but do not always think what you think are 100% right. Because it's quite impossible to be a mirror to yourself; so let others be. And you can never understand a person fully if you choose to be so pig-headed, and not accepting others' thoughts and feelings.
If I've got one chance to time-travel, I will choose to return to the time when I should've been mad at you, instead of being so gentle to your unforgivable fault. Because now I realize, that was the beginning of my mistake; for being so dependent to you.
this ain't gonna happen no more
front: Boom Shop acid washed blazer
back: Castle LaVie pink buttoned blazer
I've been starting to feel unwell these few days. I seem pale every time I have not enough sleep. What makes things worse is my eating habit. I feel like I want to swallow every single tasty food I saw. Or that I regarded every single food as tasty, I don't know. :/ my stomach seems to have been living by its own, apart from my body. I have been losing control of it recently and I hate how stomach can ruin my mood easily :(
I hope everything is fine. I promise myself to be at bed before midnight, and stay away from internet as far as I can :) This habit is seriously gonna affect my whole day's performance and I dread at that thought. *sigh*
I had just managed the list of my outcome for this month and I was astonished myself. How the hell I could spend such amount of money at mostly Online Shops? My attempt to stay away from visiting Sun Plaza so that I wouldn't spend a lot had been in vain I guess. Oh my, Mom and Dad are out there working 24/7 and I am here spending money like the flowing water? I shall think next time, yes THINK Winny.
How come after such period of time, such amount of energy I've lost to make myself forget, I can still feel the pain by merely staring at the picture? :'/
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Where I truly belong
I've attended 2 birthday parties in 2 nights in a row. No wonder I spent exactly half a day time sleeping today :X And this night will be sally's, but as I realize I had made a wrong mistake last night, I decided not to attend any party tonight.
I suddenly found myself so unconscious all this time. or is it my brain that worked so slow or that I hadn't used it for so long, I dont know. I was just considering how come I was so heartless all those times. I have always been telling myself to prioritize my family, but my actions seemed to have been the other way round. I knew my dad had always been reminding me of mistake I had done that he spotted, but I seemed to never give a damn on most of them.. and I feel sorry :/
Leaving my grandmother worrying all night was one of my biggest mistakes. Abandoning her advices was another. What made me neglected them was the thought of her being always worry excessively about trivial matters. Since I was merely attending birthday parties of my closest friends', and I could guarantee myself arriving safe and sound at home after the parties, I didn't give a damn on the reasons of her worries. But everything just made sense last night. Her reason of worrying excessively all these times, my parents' anger when I arrived home late at night and me being outrageous by breaking the family rules, and many more. It is simply because they love and care about me. Not that I've never realized that, but all this time I just couldn't accept their way of loving me that makes me feel difficult to breathe.
I've been living here for sixteen years and not once I have ever accepted their way of loving me.
But from now on, I will as possibly savor each moment with my family. I don't want to lose myself indulging too much fun and forget my whole family in just a blink of an eye. I will also try to make sense about everything, and I promise myself, I will seriously make the effort this time.
Wish me the best luck, will you? :)
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoo
I suddenly found myself so unconscious all this time. or is it my brain that worked so slow or that I hadn't used it for so long, I dont know. I was just considering how come I was so heartless all those times. I have always been telling myself to prioritize my family, but my actions seemed to have been the other way round. I knew my dad had always been reminding me of mistake I had done that he spotted, but I seemed to never give a damn on most of them.. and I feel sorry :/
Leaving my grandmother worrying all night was one of my biggest mistakes. Abandoning her advices was another. What made me neglected them was the thought of her being always worry excessively about trivial matters. Since I was merely attending birthday parties of my closest friends', and I could guarantee myself arriving safe and sound at home after the parties, I didn't give a damn on the reasons of her worries. But everything just made sense last night. Her reason of worrying excessively all these times, my parents' anger when I arrived home late at night and me being outrageous by breaking the family rules, and many more. It is simply because they love and care about me. Not that I've never realized that, but all this time I just couldn't accept their way of loving me that makes me feel difficult to breathe.
I've been living here for sixteen years and not once I have ever accepted their way of loving me.
But from now on, I will as possibly savor each moment with my family. I don't want to lose myself indulging too much fun and forget my whole family in just a blink of an eye. I will also try to make sense about everything, and I promise myself, I will seriously make the effort this time.
Wish me the best luck, will you? :)
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoo
Friday, April 23, 2010
deep crush
I was thinking to share with you readers another part of me. I have a special crush on art, esp fashion and photography.
Sometimes I love to mix and match, but other times I find myself too lazy to spend my energy to search for the clothes in my wardrobe. but yes, I adore fashion.
Photography is what recently I indulge myself in, as I am starting to love to document-ate each special moment whenever possible. :)
so here's some combination of both;
left: boyish vest, MNG Basics, Oliphelle Avenue floral skirt, lolipop neckalce from mom
right:DianaRikasariforBloopEndorse geometric tee, DianaRikasariforBloopEndorse leather pants, Forever21 bangle
Fame Shop necklaces
left: DianaRikasariforBloopEndorse dress, unbranded tights, Diva owl necklace right: Gaudi dress
Anyway, mind my messy hair as I had just washed my hair and didn't blow-dry it ;p
I am kind of not so good in posing but those pics above were my best poses just now LOL
oh yea, I am recently so into fashion bloggers :) and not to be forgotten, those pics above wouldn't have arrived if I hadn't a crush at Online Shops, like I mentioned in the previous post. Although BloopEndorse is not the first online shop I had my order, but it arrived first. I was so excited when I saw the package this evening.
so yes, the T-shirt, dress and pants on the pics above had just received this evening:) I am excitedly waiting for others to arrive soooooon. yipeeee! :D
Sometimes I love to mix and match, but other times I find myself too lazy to spend my energy to search for the clothes in my wardrobe. but yes, I adore fashion.
Photography is what recently I indulge myself in, as I am starting to love to document-ate each special moment whenever possible. :)
so here's some combination of both;
left: boyish vest, MNG Basics, Oliphelle Avenue floral skirt, lolipop neckalce from mom
right:DianaRikasariforBloopEndorse geometric tee, DianaRikasariforBloopEndorse leather pants, Forever21 bangle
Fame Shop necklaces
left: DianaRikasariforBloopEndorse dress, unbranded tights, Diva owl necklace right: Gaudi dress
Anyway, mind my messy hair as I had just washed my hair and didn't blow-dry it ;p
I am kind of not so good in posing but those pics above were my best poses just now LOL
oh yea, I am recently so into fashion bloggers :) and not to be forgotten, those pics above wouldn't have arrived if I hadn't a crush at Online Shops, like I mentioned in the previous post. Although BloopEndorse is not the first online shop I had my order, but it arrived first. I was so excited when I saw the package this evening.
so yes, the T-shirt, dress and pants on the pics above had just received this evening:) I am excitedly waiting for others to arrive soooooon. yipeeee! :D
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
PEOPLE&THINGS
Today seemed to be a day to discover new people, as I had come across new friends and starting to understand their characteristics.
The most highlight would be on the new student at Sir Harkiman's.
My friends @Sir Harkiman's had just graduated from the 3rd year of senior high, and they're not coming for a lesson @ Sir Harkiman's anymore. They're probably busy planning for their college, or they are just being lazy. :p so Sir Harkiman agreed to accept new students and there came the first one today.
At first I thought she's probably around my age (well actually she is!), and she looked friendly. Well I figured she was a bit nervous when talking ( who don't at the first meeting?), but she was so calm. It has been quite a while since I last saw a very peaceful person like she was. Even when Sir Harkiman attacked her with questions about Christianity (he does it often to Christians), she still looked unoffensive. She had quite a good English too, and she's s m a r t. A few months with Sir Harkiman + hard work are so gonna improve her English. :)
I am thinking.. whether boys and girls can be just friends without having any special feeling towards one another? Because to be honest, I like to make friends with gentle boys. I want to be nice to them, but I just don't want them to have any special feeling towards me, and vice versa. You know, I think if we students can hold this kind of feeling during the serious learning years, and will just have that kind of feeling after graduating, isn't that better? I believe the young generations nowadays will then be (at least) a bit qualified, won't it? sigh, if only I have this kind of strength to hold myself for several years, too :/
anywayy, I have recently have a deep crush with Online Shops♥ seriously I had shopped in like 4 stores and I just can't waiiiiiiiitttt for the items to arrive :D I keep on hoping the item I ordered would be precisely like what the picture had shown. Isn't it one of the weaknesses of shopping online? :\
OH RIGHT, the weather here in Medan ( and probably in all parts of Indonesia) have been inconsistent recently. Some time the air can be so refreshing after drizzling all evening. ( like now) But some other days the air around the whole town was sultry after the scorching sun revealed itself for half a day. This is a worldly problem, for real. Also, not to mention the world's breaking news about the natural disasters in Asia and Europe (sigh this should make us be a lot more grateful). This world is seriously breaking down. =.="
PS, I have been an owl for these few days as I sleep at around one (a.m) and wake up at six thirty (a.m). And my right hand is in pain as I couldn't hold myself of going online every night :( GEE I really crave for more resting timeeeee! O.O
The most highlight would be on the new student at Sir Harkiman's.
My friends @Sir Harkiman's had just graduated from the 3rd year of senior high, and they're not coming for a lesson @ Sir Harkiman's anymore. They're probably busy planning for their college, or they are just being lazy. :p so Sir Harkiman agreed to accept new students and there came the first one today.
At first I thought she's probably around my age (well actually she is!), and she looked friendly. Well I figured she was a bit nervous when talking ( who don't at the first meeting?), but she was so calm. It has been quite a while since I last saw a very peaceful person like she was. Even when Sir Harkiman attacked her with questions about Christianity (he does it often to Christians), she still looked unoffensive. She had quite a good English too, and she's s m a r t. A few months with Sir Harkiman + hard work are so gonna improve her English. :)
I am thinking.. whether boys and girls can be just friends without having any special feeling towards one another? Because to be honest, I like to make friends with gentle boys. I want to be nice to them, but I just don't want them to have any special feeling towards me, and vice versa. You know, I think if we students can hold this kind of feeling during the serious learning years, and will just have that kind of feeling after graduating, isn't that better? I believe the young generations nowadays will then be (at least) a bit qualified, won't it? sigh, if only I have this kind of strength to hold myself for several years, too :/
anywayy, I have recently have a deep crush with Online Shops♥ seriously I had shopped in like 4 stores and I just can't waiiiiiiiitttt for the items to arrive :D I keep on hoping the item I ordered would be precisely like what the picture had shown. Isn't it one of the weaknesses of shopping online? :\
OH RIGHT, the weather here in Medan ( and probably in all parts of Indonesia) have been inconsistent recently. Some time the air can be so refreshing after drizzling all evening. ( like now) But some other days the air around the whole town was sultry after the scorching sun revealed itself for half a day. This is a worldly problem, for real. Also, not to mention the world's breaking news about the natural disasters in Asia and Europe (sigh this should make us be a lot more grateful). This world is seriously breaking down. =.="
PS, I have been an owl for these few days as I sleep at around one (a.m) and wake up at six thirty (a.m). And my right hand is in pain as I couldn't hold myself of going online every night :( GEE I really crave for more resting timeeeee! O.O
Saturday, April 17, 2010
L I F E
You know, sometimes I am just too uncertain about things that I need obvious prove to be certain. But sometimes I just leave myself trying to figure out the answers because I can do nothing to prove it. and the thought of me of not able to do anything, of being so vulnerable, is what I hate the most.
Life's such a mystery. yes, a lot of people agree. The key to reveal the mystery is what I think life is mostly about. If you keep on repeating the same actions over and over everyday, I don't think you deserve this life. Life's absolutely much more than that. You experience things, you feel pain, you feel excited.. you feel alive.
I think there are times when we need to stop going forward and reminisce what we've done, what we've learned. But that doesn't really mean we should stop moving on. When we reminisce, when we feel what we once felt about life, no matter if it was painful or happy.. you also feel alive.
Although what I feel most now is an unbearable pain, this makes me alive too.
because I believe life is also a very tricky game. I may be lost this time, I may be hurt as I fall down, but there will also come the time when I win. After I've overcome the difficulties, after I am able to face the reality, after I am able to control my own self, I will win.
This is just the time when I need to stop and look back, and I did it yesterday. I found how much I had changed for the last two years. how I had turned from a simple young carefree girl into this mature self. I don't think I'm mature enough, but at least, I have progressed much already.
When I read on my past entries, I remembered how I thought and felt about life. It was always about the feeling when you've achieved something that would make me feel alive. but simply looking at my own reflection at the mirror now, I guess those things had faded in me.
so yes, I have come to a conclusion that life doesn't always mean to make you feel happy, and vice versa, life doesn't always mean to make you feel the pain. It's YOU who take control of all the things. On how you regard the obstacles as.
PS, This post may be a bit boring, or long-winded, but I think from reading this post may come the strength to encourage myself. I hope it comes to you too. :)
The path of life is never meant to be smooth. Sometimes, the small pebbles and the huge stones are just there on the crossroads.. to test your capability of turning to the other path, and to make you grow stronger.
Life's such a mystery. yes, a lot of people agree. The key to reveal the mystery is what I think life is mostly about. If you keep on repeating the same actions over and over everyday, I don't think you deserve this life. Life's absolutely much more than that. You experience things, you feel pain, you feel excited.. you feel alive.
I think there are times when we need to stop going forward and reminisce what we've done, what we've learned. But that doesn't really mean we should stop moving on. When we reminisce, when we feel what we once felt about life, no matter if it was painful or happy.. you also feel alive.
Although what I feel most now is an unbearable pain, this makes me alive too.
because I believe life is also a very tricky game. I may be lost this time, I may be hurt as I fall down, but there will also come the time when I win. After I've overcome the difficulties, after I am able to face the reality, after I am able to control my own self, I will win.
This is just the time when I need to stop and look back, and I did it yesterday. I found how much I had changed for the last two years. how I had turned from a simple young carefree girl into this mature self. I don't think I'm mature enough, but at least, I have progressed much already.
When I read on my past entries, I remembered how I thought and felt about life. It was always about the feeling when you've achieved something that would make me feel alive. but simply looking at my own reflection at the mirror now, I guess those things had faded in me.
so yes, I have come to a conclusion that life doesn't always mean to make you feel happy, and vice versa, life doesn't always mean to make you feel the pain. It's YOU who take control of all the things. On how you regard the obstacles as.
PS, This post may be a bit boring, or long-winded, but I think from reading this post may come the strength to encourage myself. I hope it comes to you too. :)
The path of life is never meant to be smooth. Sometimes, the small pebbles and the huge stones are just there on the crossroads.. to test your capability of turning to the other path, and to make you grow stronger.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Wednesday with ♥
I just realized this is gonna be the 100th post :D
I had much fun today! despite several things bother my afternoon but SHOPPING with my sunshine made it to replace those unnecessarily-thought stuffs :P
Well, I guess I had shopped (oh) too much and that means I should keep myself busy with other stuffs until next month or else the thought of wasting money would come up again LOL
But honestly, I had never believed such 'shopping therapy' worked before today. I've proven to myself that shopping could make me feel much better than I thought it would :)
at first I planned to go to Pieter's to have my bangs cut only, but I stopped by Gaudi and there I was with Karvina until the next hour :p I was actually planning to spend until I could make the Member Card as I tend to shop there most of the time. but then I found it unnecessary to push myself to shop that much as I don't really have many to my liking too. btw, here's are the great stuffs. Oh not to be forgotten a white rose necklace from Phoebe&Chloe ♥
I had much fun today! despite several things bother my afternoon but SHOPPING with my sunshine made it to replace those unnecessarily-thought stuffs :P
Well, I guess I had shopped (oh) too much and that means I should keep myself busy with other stuffs until next month or else the thought of wasting money would come up again LOL
But honestly, I had never believed such 'shopping therapy' worked before today. I've proven to myself that shopping could make me feel much better than I thought it would :)
at first I planned to go to Pieter's to have my bangs cut only, but I stopped by Gaudi and there I was with Karvina until the next hour :p I was actually planning to spend until I could make the Member Card as I tend to shop there most of the time. but then I found it unnecessary to push myself to shop that much as I don't really have many to my liking too. btw, here's are the great stuffs. Oh not to be forgotten a white rose necklace from Phoebe&Chloe ♥
I am in ♥ with this rosy necklace at the first sight. I felt I the urge to buy it as soon as I saw it from the distant ♥
PS, I bet you have NO idea how STRONG I've grown into all this time. yes, without YOU.
PS, I bet you have NO idea how STRONG I've grown into all this time. yes, without YOU.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
WHOOP-E-DOO-PEE-DOO
Anyonghasimnika, world? Winny Teh is finally back on blogging (again) :b
First monthly exam ended today and I couldn't be more relieved! it's ( no doubt) exhausting to store 2, 3 or even 4 chapters of knowledge into your brain for less than a day. It happened EVERY DAY for more than a week and I think I will soon going crazy for real.! well yeah, no one to be blamed, it's my lazy habit if there's one. :c
so yes, there's just sooooooooooo much i want to share, but I think I would just start with the most recent one(s) (:
I've recently been surveying on several things to buy before JUNE's holiday
♥a DSLR camera is the uppermost! I wouldn't want to leave Medan without my own one :p
I've laid my eyes on Canon 550D ever since I first saw about it, which was in the official canon website. and now I'm pretty much sure about it since I knew it doesn't cost as much as I thought it would. yipppie! :D
so I guess I need to start holding my crave for shopping if I really want to bring this into reality. sigh, it will not be as easy as written I know, as I recently have also been spying on cute clothes from Online Shops :(
but welllll, it's gonna worth them Teh kecik! Imagine the proud of being able to buy your own high-tech gadget with your own pocket money! well it's not my money i know, but at least my dad gave it to me and I save it myself :P I know this may not sound any special for some people, but it is for me. although this may only show a bit, I believe this will prove to my parents that their little daughter has grown up. and I am sick already of being thought as a little child and being treated like one who still knows nothing about this life. yeah, at least my own experiences had taught me some already.
so here's some things I bought today after watching 3D movie 'How To Train a Dragon' which was a superb one ♥
I decided to buy a very first book about photography as I am getting to be more interested with this hobby :) I also hope my photography skill will be able to balance with soon-gonna-be-mine 550D XDD
oh do you notice the Sponge Bob water bottle? I bought it at ACE Hardware, and it really cost a pretty penny :x but Larrisa recommended me to buy it before I regret it later HAHA she's such an evil =P
so yes, tomorrow school will start and end as usual. but then I hope my hyper-ultra-mega-giga lazy habit will changeeeee at least for a bit. To be kicked out from the plus class is totally unwelcome on my achievement list :(
PS, I'm beginning to love and get accustomed to the nickname 'Teh kecik' created by Ci Adriany as many of my friends have started to call me so ♥ ♥ :b
Thursday, April 01, 2010
I don't wanna be a FOOL, either.
April Fool's Day. I don't know if it has something to do with what makes today so full of unexpected things.
First, a friend of mine (i won't mention names) changed my shiny mood, into a cloudy one. actually she did nothing wrong, but just I felt dissapointed. sigh
Second, my driver. geez it's been a long time since I felt he's such an annoying one. what's so hard of trying to be less emotional when talking to meeeee? at least I didn't shout you first, you DID. after I'd waited for like half an hour, you arrived and you knew I was waiting but you didn't tell ME
you had arrived like in shit minutes ago? GRRRR
Third, myself. I've been so madddd at myself like how the hell did I let myself to pour out all the emotion at once? and I AM SO LAZY like EXAM IS IN LESS THAN 4 DAYS and what was i doing everyday?
The answers:
First, I was just hoping too much that I couldn't stand when she didn't act like the way I though she would. Which was why, I felt upset, not merely dissapointed.
Second, I should actually understand (even just a little) that the traffic to drive from Bulan to Bintang was like HELL in that time.
Third, I AM WAY TOO BAD-TEMPERED. EGOISTIC. AND CHILDISH. AND LAZY. SIGHH when can I totally CHANGE them? t.t
First, a friend of mine (i won't mention names) changed my shiny mood, into a cloudy one. actually she did nothing wrong, but just I felt dissapointed. sigh
Second, my driver. geez it's been a long time since I felt he's such an annoying one. what's so hard of trying to be less emotional when talking to meeeee? at least I didn't shout you first, you DID. after I'd waited for like half an hour, you arrived and you knew I was waiting but you didn't tell ME
you had arrived like in shit minutes ago? GRRRR
Third, myself. I've been so madddd at myself like how the hell did I let myself to pour out all the emotion at once? and I AM SO LAZY like EXAM IS IN LESS THAN 4 DAYS and what was i doing everyday?
The answers:
First, I was just hoping too much that I couldn't stand when she didn't act like the way I though she would. Which was why, I felt upset, not merely dissapointed.
Second, I should actually understand (even just a little) that the traffic to drive from Bulan to Bintang was like HELL in that time.
Third, I AM WAY TOO BAD-TEMPERED. EGOISTIC. AND CHILDISH. AND LAZY. SIGHH when can I totally CHANGE them? t.t
Sunday, January 31, 2010
imsickandtired
'cause no one is gonna realize, neither did I, it still hasn't changed. and probably won't.
Friday, January 08, 2010
back on track
gee. i can't even remember when was the last time i blog, well before i looked at my previous post. so i has been exactly.. 2 months?
First of all, we've just come to another new year and passed one either. Happy new year for all! though i might be late, but it is merely 8 days from the new year :)
2009 might have passed but yet it is the most memorable year for me until now. yes, lots of new things which i had never experienced before started to come to me and let me feel them one by one in that year.
I can tell you not all of them were the good ones, but the bad ones are what i still keep in mind to be my guidance in life like what i mentioned in a post long time ago. it has been proven to me that experience is indeed the best teacher on my life =)
a year has passed, and 2009 for most, had made me grown to be the person i am now. :) and yes, im very grateful of it.
wellwell, since a new year has come, I have made BIG resolutions for myself to achieve this year :D i did not write them down or make a list, I just keep them in mind. i believe action speaks louder than words, yes? ;)
to mention my holiday, last year's late dec til this early jan i was actually somewhere overseas, in China to be exact. I feel really glad to have the opportunity to visit another country ive never been although i didnt really explore the country this time. me and my family had gone there to shop (yes SHOP!) and we were by our own, not joining a tour or whatsoever. At first I thought I wouldve shopped a lot especially on clothes, but then unexpectedly I bought nothing but one lovely T-shirt from ZARA. It was winter (and still is now), so not surprisingly I couldn't find many T-shirts, or shorts sold in the place.
talking about school, the first semester's report has not been released and i dont know when exactly it will, very soon i guess. and I am not looking forward to it AT ALL, concerning my marks in two monthly reports last time that are indeed the worst in my high school year. I really think I dont belong to the plus class, but yet I love to be here. being kicked out from the plus class is the most embarrasing, and so i am going (and i promise) to struggle more this second semester. gee i cant even dare to imagine the embarrasing scene. ==
oh anyways, Ive been typing so long for around the last 30 minutes and i better off changing clothes and continue my last outdoor activity for today, that is the chemistry lesson.
with much hope, wishes, and ♡
First of all, we've just come to another new year and passed one either. Happy new year for all! though i might be late, but it is merely 8 days from the new year :)
2009 might have passed but yet it is the most memorable year for me until now. yes, lots of new things which i had never experienced before started to come to me and let me feel them one by one in that year.
I can tell you not all of them were the good ones, but the bad ones are what i still keep in mind to be my guidance in life like what i mentioned in a post long time ago. it has been proven to me that experience is indeed the best teacher on my life =)
a year has passed, and 2009 for most, had made me grown to be the person i am now. :) and yes, im very grateful of it.
wellwell, since a new year has come, I have made BIG resolutions for myself to achieve this year :D i did not write them down or make a list, I just keep them in mind. i believe action speaks louder than words, yes? ;)
to mention my holiday, last year's late dec til this early jan i was actually somewhere overseas, in China to be exact. I feel really glad to have the opportunity to visit another country ive never been although i didnt really explore the country this time. me and my family had gone there to shop (yes SHOP!) and we were by our own, not joining a tour or whatsoever. At first I thought I wouldve shopped a lot especially on clothes, but then unexpectedly I bought nothing but one lovely T-shirt from ZARA. It was winter (and still is now), so not surprisingly I couldn't find many T-shirts, or shorts sold in the place.
talking about school, the first semester's report has not been released and i dont know when exactly it will, very soon i guess. and I am not looking forward to it AT ALL, concerning my marks in two monthly reports last time that are indeed the worst in my high school year. I really think I dont belong to the plus class, but yet I love to be here. being kicked out from the plus class is the most embarrasing, and so i am going (and i promise) to struggle more this second semester. gee i cant even dare to imagine the embarrasing scene. ==
oh anyways, Ive been typing so long for around the last 30 minutes and i better off changing clothes and continue my last outdoor activity for today, that is the chemistry lesson.
with much hope, wishes, and ♡
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