L I F E

You know, sometimes I am just too uncertain about things that I need obvious prove to be certain. But sometimes I just leave myself trying to figure out the answers because I can do nothing to prove it. and the thought of me of not able to do anything, of being so vulnerable, is what I hate the most.

Life's such a mystery. yes, a lot of people agree. The key to reveal the mystery is what I think life is mostly about. If you keep on repeating the same actions over and over everyday, I don't think you deserve this life. Life's absolutely much more than that. You experience things, you feel pain, you feel excited.. you feel alive.

I think there are times when we need to stop going forward and reminisce what we've done, what we've learned. But that doesn't really mean we should stop moving on. When we reminisce, when we feel what we once felt about life, no matter if it was painful or happy.. you also feel alive.

Although what I feel most now is an unbearable pain, this makes me alive too.
because I believe life is also a very tricky game. I may be lost this time, I may be hurt as I fall down, but there will also come the time when I win. After I've overcome the difficulties, after I am able to face the reality, after I am able to control my own self, I will win.

This is just the time when I need to stop and look back, and I did it yesterday. I found how much I had changed for the last two years. how I had turned from a simple young carefree girl into this mature self. I don't think I'm mature enough, but at least, I have progressed much already.
When I read on my past entries, I remembered how I thought and felt about life. It was always about the feeling when you've achieved something that would make me feel alive. but simply looking at my own reflection at the mirror now, I guess those things had faded in me.

so yes, I have come to a conclusion that life doesn't always mean to make you feel happy, and vice versa, life doesn't always mean to make you feel the pain. It's YOU who take control of all the things. On how you regard the obstacles as.

PS, This post may be a bit boring, or long-winded, but I think from reading this post may come the strength to encourage myself. I hope it comes to you too. :)


The path of life is never meant to be smooth. Sometimes, the small pebbles and the huge stones are just there on the crossroads.. to test your capability of turning to the other path, and to make you grow stronger.