Where I truly belong

I've attended 2 birthday parties in 2 nights in a row. No wonder I spent exactly half a day time sleeping today :X And this night will be sally's, but as I realize I had made a wrong mistake last night, I decided not to attend any party tonight.

I suddenly found myself so unconscious all this time. or is it my brain that worked so slow or that I hadn't used it for so long, I dont know. I was just considering how come I was so heartless all those times. I have always been telling myself to prioritize my family, but my actions seemed to have been the other way round. I knew my dad had always been reminding me of mistake I had done that he spotted, but I seemed to never give a damn on most of them.. and I feel sorry :/

Leaving my grandmother worrying all night was one of my biggest mistakes. Abandoning her advices was another. What made me neglected them was the thought of her being always worry excessively about trivial matters. Since I was merely attending birthday parties of my closest friends', and I could guarantee myself arriving safe and sound at home after the parties, I didn't give a damn on the reasons of her worries. But everything just made sense last night. Her reason of worrying excessively all these times, my parents' anger when I arrived home late at night and me being outrageous by breaking the family rules, and many more. It is simply because they love and care about me. Not that I've never realized that, but all this time I just couldn't accept their way of loving me that makes me feel difficult to breathe.

I've been living here for sixteen years and not once I have ever accepted their way of loving me.
But from now on, I will as possibly savor each moment with my family. I don't want to lose myself indulging too much fun and forget my whole family in just a blink of an eye. I will also try to make sense about everything, and I promise myself, I will seriously make the effort this time.

Wish me the best luck, will you? :)



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