幸福在哪儿？

How has everyone been? Guess regular readers will know what I'm about to say.. Yeah, I miss blogging.

Do you guys realize the power we release when we have a strong feeling for something is so huge?
It is amazing how that feeling could end up distracting our mind to focus on only that one matter, the source of that strong feeling to occur.

Sometimes I like to think why such thing could happen; why can the feelings from heart distract our mind? Why does the connection feel so strong & unbreakable and there is nothing I, as the master, can do to stop or prevent it from happening? Or in short words, it's beyond my control.

I hate not being able to control or prevent unexpected ( as in bad ) situations from happening. When I could foresee the ending of it, and I could do nothing to fix the situation, I feel helpless.
I hate the fact that when I want something real bad, I have to achieve it. In any quickest way possible. But this is something else... This should not be achieved in a short time. The timing is too fast; the feeling is wrong.

What can I do to erase all the feeling I've felt? The short memories made? Why do I have to have that feeling now? I don't feel like worsen things...

那些爱过的感觉都太深刻 我不想在痛了。

Short

Hi. Some things have been going my way recently. To think about it all, it's so much to take in. If I flash back, this day will not have occurred in my mind.

I'm so confounded. Tangled. You name it. There has been much changes lately I can barely remember them all. Yeah my memory is that short. Dear God, whatever that is yet to come, I pray for strength and wisdom. I hope I'll have a clear mind and won't be emotional in making decisions _/\_

Truth lies beneath the skin

Hiiii I'm in the midst of exam week. Tomorrow is Australia Day therefore is a public holiday. One last subject to go, the Legal monster. Have been group studying every single day with 'Indo kerenz' ( lol ) in Unilodge. Each day is a memorable one as I do not only earn knowledge of school subjects but also enrich my knowledge of social life. Particularly about PEOPLE.

Humans are so unique. Each one has distinct personality that when I get to know more, I'm often surprised myself.
I feel blessed meeting wonderful people during my studies here. From whom I can learn to live life more fully. Experience, their stories, and personalities results in me evaluating myself. And I often find I've never been good enough. Even though I used to think I have been.

I am looking forward to more days months years or even lifetime with them. I may not expect, but I hope. Because having genuine friends is one of the best things about life.... :')

Ban mal

Trust me, feelings can be grown. With time. With effort. With togetherness. The battle between my mind and heart can be quite terrifying. What is hoped is for the mind to win. Instead feelings overwhelm the atmosphere and whisper: "Give it a try. "

I am not to play with my feelings, e v e r a g a i n.

disentangling thoughts

Hello. This is gonna be a random post.
I've been listening to Christina perri's songs lately: Jar of Hearts and A thousand Years. Jar of Hearts reminded me of that time in my life, when the exact situation in the song, happened to me. But instead of a refusal, I gave a yes in response. A second chance.

I was grateful, during the journey, that I believed in second chances. The process was beautiful, every day was a fairy tale, only 'happily ever after' was not yet achieved. It's like the 'A thousand Years'. Until I was willing to give a LDR a try. But I failed, before the song even ends.


I am hoping there is gonna be a third song. I wanna know, I am curious about the
truth: Is this the end already? No I am not wishing for a next episode, I just want certainty. I hate having false hopes, like I have just had. Cause in the end, the truth always left me speechless.

I don't know what's wrong in me. Or is it really me?
I hate the fact that I feel into the deep hole with someone, but in the end I have to climb out of it myself. I'm not regretting though, cause I know I'll learn from it.

I am not in a state of confusion, nor in the brink of doubts. Sometimes I just need to describe my thoughts into words. No answer needed, no replies necessary. Only now, my thoughts have come crystal clearer. This post has helped me through understanding.

End of story.

January ardor

Hey ho how's your start of week fellas? Mine couldn't get any better ;)
Been (trying) making myself busy to revise every spare time I have, and pause watching Running man for a while now. I need a serious catch up on revisions.
Indo friends here have been discussing plans for our one-week holidays. Exciting fun revenge after exams lol

This month's agenda is surely gonna be busyyyy! :)