disentangling thoughts

Hello. This is gonna be a random post.
I've been listening to Christina perri's songs lately: Jar of Hearts and A thousand Years. Jar of Hearts reminded me of that time in my life, when the exact situation in the song, happened to me. But instead of a refusal, I gave a yes in response. A second chance.

I was grateful, during the journey, that I believed in second chances. The process was beautiful, every day was a fairy tale, only 'happily ever after' was not yet achieved. It's like the 'A thousand Years'. Until I was willing to give a LDR a try. But I failed, before the song even ends.


I am hoping there is gonna be a third song. I wanna know, I am curious about the
truth: Is this the end already? No I am not wishing for a next episode, I just want certainty. I hate having false hopes, like I have just had. Cause in the end, the truth always left me speechless.

I don't know what's wrong in me. Or is it really me?
I hate the fact that I feel into the deep hole with someone, but in the end I have to climb out of it myself. I'm not regretting though, cause I know I'll learn from it.

I am not in a state of confusion, nor in the brink of doubts. Sometimes I just need to describe my thoughts into words. No answer needed, no replies necessary. Only now, my thoughts have come crystal clearer. This post has helped me through understanding.

End of story.

Love is not that blind

Once upon a love..

you came and we live happily ever after.

Signed,

WinnyTeh

Make Every Second Count

So it's July. It's 22nd. It's one month and plus til the day I'll embark on a new life journey in Sydney. Isn't time ticking way too fast? Or because I'm on holidays and I am too carefree? But it's impossible, yet possible! It feels like last month the time I finished my Final National exam. It feels like last month I just graduated from high  school. So it's supposed to be 4 more months. not bloody ONE!

Time flies, no kidding. I've seen around 10 of my friends gone to further their studies in different cities. Some overseas, some still domestic. Having less and lesser time to live in Medan terrifies me, yet on some occasions, comforts me. Terrifying because I'm gonna leave my bittersweet hometown for (at least) half a year before I could be back here again. My whole life I've never lived a month apart from Medan. Maybe I'm being exaggerating but true it's what I feel. Comforting because I'll be living away from my parents. Actually it's not truly comforting. It's more like, exciting. It's a whole new life experience indeed! Living away from my parents? I think if the reason is not due to better education, my parents would never ever let me live so far away. Well although I'll still be there with my two sisters.

Pretty scary now? Oh and I'm beginning to learn that I won't be able to depend too much on my two sisters. They have their own matters to do, of course. And I've always wanted to be an independent woman. So I can say, it's my chance. I, myself, am not sure how I'm gonna work everything out.But since it's my childhood dream to study in an English-speaking country, I'm pretty sure I'll find a way.

From now, I hope ( no more promises) I'll update this blog as often as I want (yes it depends on my mood!)
It'll be so much fun if by the time I leave my hometown, and I miss it so much I couldn't help, I can re-read my posts and... be overwhelmed with the atmosphere. Right now as I'm typing this, I can feel my almost-teary eyes, so let alone when I'm already there.

Make Every Second Count. As I'm still here, I hope for the next one month I'll do things I've always wanted to do. Carrying no regrets and burdens as I leave. Rather than lazying and doing nothing special every day, I shall (and have to!) move my ass off bed more early in the morning and get back to bed more early at night.
Fingers crossed! xx

PS, I'm worrying a bit too much about LDR lately ;(


Teh, Winny.

me and you. now and forever.

  

  

Above are pictures taken in 2 friends' birthday parties; Juvenia and Jesica. Honestly, both of us had never attended a party together, or hang out at night, before these two. Those were special and unforgettable nights, that's why. ;)

Another reason to call it a sweet night was when our names were called by Jesica, along with other couples, to compete in a game. This game was not tricky, but the MC said, it could prove one's loyalty to another. LoL. There were five couples being called out. Each man in the couple had to finish a bottle of water, well that's what I thought at first. The bottle was the one infants usually use to drink. You know, the one with 'dodot'. And us girls had to place it anywhere, besides holding it with our hands, to let the man drink it. I ran out of idea where to place while other couples had decided. Many suggested to put it in between my neck and my shoulder, so I just went for it.

After the game had started, the secret began to reveal. Besides the men, no one would know how the water tasted. Turned out it was water with abundant of salt! The form was like soda water. Man, I can't imagine how salty it must be! When other couples had given up drinking, my boy, Hendrik just couldn't stop. It seemed as though the water was just plain water. People were cheering, telling him to stop drinking, or he would feel nauseous. Then he stopped. But the MC just wasn't satisfied, he got all the men drinking again, just to see who the winner was. I didn't know all of the men had given up then, because mine was still fighting til the end. And he did it. He finished drinking each drop of it.

Before the game, I told him, 'It's our first game, we should win this.' That was what kept him going, he told me. I doubted him at first, and it challenged him. All of the guys gave up, but not him. Call me silly, but I was beyond proud of him. This game had proven something, and it's meaningful for us. :)

  

Dear my boy,

 I'm thankful I have you..

The past may not be sweet, The future isn't certainly ours.

But now, anything is possible for me,

as long as you're in my arms length..as long as we're together.

Je t'aime. I love you, Hendrik.♥

love,

Teh.Winny.