Part 1 1/2

Often we misunderstand the feeling of yearning with wanting. No it's different. Cos as much as we wish for the situation to be the same, it never will be. The people in the picture taken ages ago change. The moment is impossible to be exactly replayed. (Yes I say impossible.) What's passed is past. That's why moments become memories. Lovers become strangers. Enemies become friends. Time. Could. Change. Everything. (learn this)

New spirit

Hello.
First of all, Happy warm New Year! :)
Where are you starting the New Year in?

As for myself, I have finally landed on my hometown again after having been gone for 6 months. It feels so good to be in the same town with the family and friends, the place where I used to spend 3/4 of each year in.. the place I often call Home :)

Does New Year have a particular meaning to you? For me New Year represents a fresh new start, and a time to change to another life-book. (yes I believe a lifetime means a group of books) And it's up to us what stories we want to write in. Maybe some things remain the way they are from last year. Maybe some others need to be redefined, and maybe the rest just needs to end.

What I'm about to share is the things that need to end. for me.

I'm actually that kind of person who when things get rough, like to look back and reminisce the old good times. High school years have the most happenings I can hardly forget til the present times. Sometimes I long for the friendship bond I had back then with my classmates, or the school-tuition-home-tuition routine that I took for granted, or the anticipation of meeting the same friends in the same class each morning I arrived at school. Yes all of those little events that always dance around in my memories.. good old times they are. ;)

Now for the parts -I guess I prefer to say- letting go.

The grudges I've hold since I left high school.
The people whom I cherished sincerely, whom I put faith in, but whom I feel betrayed from.. I probably won't be as strong as I am today without all those challenges. Thank you
Last but not least, to the good old memories I've been trying to relive. I've made a mistake by trying to walk backwards. All I get is nothing but pain. 

I forgive and let go..

May from this moment onwards I acquire the skills to prioritise professionally. If not for the sake of a clear future, for the sake of a happier me. xoxo

PS, This is my way to detoxify my mind, maybe you have yours! Nevertheless, for this New Year, try to eliminate the negative things by gradually filling in the positive ones..  it's easier to do it now that you still have the new year spirit, for a fresh new start!


Good luck,

Midnight encounters

I'm furious.
Not at how things aren't on my side, but at how I always believe they are.
Not at how they have me fooled, but at how I'm always too delusional to see the truth.
Not at how they play tricks on me, but at how I got tricked more than once.

In the end I'm sad.
Because some things are not meant to be put faith in no matter what.
Because some things are never meant to change..
No matter how much I've always believed the otherwise.

Really (정말)

By Song Joong Ki

사랑했었잖아 정말
saranghessotjana jongmal
We were in love, really

좋아했었잖아 정말
joahessotjana jongmal
We liked each other, really

미칠 것 같아서 터질 것 같아서 정말
michil got gataso tojil got gataso jongmal
Felt like going crazy, felt like I’d burst, really

이제는 떠나자 다시
ijeneun ttonaja dasi
So let’s leave now again

니가 또 그리워 오늘도
niga tto geuriwo oneuldo
I miss you again today

가슴에 남아서 지울 수 없어서 정말
gaseume namaso jiul su obsoso jongmal
Because you remain in my heart and I can’t erase you, really,

이렇게도 아픈데 난
irokedo apeunde nan
I’m hurting like this


사랑해서 눈물이 난다 가슴이 아파 와서 또 눈물이 나
sarangheso nunmuri nanda gaseumi apa waso tto nunmuri na
Because I love you, tears fall
Because my heart hurts, tears fall again

다시 널 잃어버릴까 다시 잃어버릴까 내 두 눈이 너만 본다
dasi noriroborilkka dasi iroborilkka ne du nuni noman bonda
In case I lose you again, in case I lose you again
My two eyes only look at you

널 사랑하는 날 좀 바라봐
nol saranghaneun nal jom barabwa
Look at me, who loves you

이렇게 눈물이 나서 자꾸 눈물이 나서
iroke nunmuri naso jakku nunmuri naso
Because tears fall like this, because tears keep falling,

다시 살아도 또 다시 살아도 너야
dasi sarado tto dasi sarado noya
Even if I’m born again, even if I’m born again, it’s you



이별의 시작은 그렇게
ibyore sijageun geuroke
I said that I hate the start of goodbyes

싫다고 했는데 이렇게
siltago henneunde iroke


다시 사랑하면 널 그리워하면 정말
dasi saranghamyon nol geuriwohamyon jongmal
But if I love again, if I miss you, really,

돌아올 수 있겠니 난
doraol su itgenni nan
Can you come back?

사랑해서 눈물이 난다 가슴이 아파 와서 또 눈물이 나
sarangheso nunmuri nanda gaseumi apa waso tto nunmuri na
다시 널 잃어버릴까 다시 잃어버릴까 내 두 눈이 너만 본다
dasi noriroborilkka dasi iroborilkka ne du nuni noman bonda
널 사랑하는 날 좀 바라봐
nol saranghaneun nal jom barabwa
이렇게 눈물이 나서 자꾸 눈물이 나서
iroke nunmuri naso jakku nunmuri naso
다시 살아도 또 다시 살아도 너야
dasi sarado tto dasi sarado noya

너만 본다
noman bonda
I only see you

널 기다리고 기다리자나
nol gidarigo gidarijana
I’m waiting and waiting for you

혹시나 돌아올까봐 다시 돌아올까봐
hoksina doraolkkabwa dasi doraolkkabwa
In case you come back, in case you come back again

비를 맞아도 눈속을 걸어도
bireul majado nunsogeul gorodo
Even if I’m rained on, even if I walk in the snow

다시 또 살아도 오직 너야
dashi tto sarado ojing-noya
Even if I’m born again, it’s only you

xx

Little things that make my day

Loving today's findings <3 br="br"> Particularly smiling sillily at the last picture ;>

History of eating alone

It's a cold winter morning, but the sun hasn't shined any brighter than today. As usual, she's woken up midday..blaming the insomnia she had the night before. First thing in mind is 'what to eat?' cos apparently her stomach's been up all night playing the rock concert. In a second she notices no one's home, and no one is right to be invited for lunch. So she makes up her mind to dine in a nearby cafe, by herself.

It's lunchtime by the time she enters the cafe, and there's barely any table unoccupied. A lady by the door who dresses like a French maid widens her grin and kindly addresses her to one of the two-seats table. A menu is prepared on the table and the girl still has her insecure look on her eyes. After another lady who dresses similarly to the first one asks her what she'd like to have, she finally gives her an answer: a cup of white hot chocolate, and a plate of fried baby calamari. 

No one can tell but it's her first time dining alone. She had usually rather ordered takeaway, but this time she'd rather not. She begins observing people who come with their family, partner, or friends. Well, seems like dining alone isn't so popular these days. What goes through her mind is how sad she must have looked like right now. Maybe looking like a girl who is heartbroken. Or sitting and waiting for someone who never comes. You know what, the truth is, I don't think a single person in the room cares about her dining alone. Nor would they think she looks as sad as she thinks she looks like. The truth is, she doesn't look sad, she just feels so. 

What makes her sad is the fact that she'd rather eating alone in a lovely cafe than a call to invite her friends. And the fact that there is no one that seems right to call to. Then she begins to wonder, where have her best people gone? Who has she been meeting all this time? Well eating alone doesn't seem as bad as what she has thought, though. In fact she'd do it again sometimes. The only problem is, she feels bad because she'd rather not eating with anyone this time. As if she doesn't have any nice people around her to share a table and a chat with. Yes, that's probably the problem. 

Not long after her last thought, her order comes. Then she starts eating without thinking even a bit any more. Before her last bite of the meal, she finally realizes something..the answer. Then she's never felt more alone...in that moment of truth.