Oh please

Dear Readers,

I've just noticed that the visit number has increased for like 30 something in two nights. Well, I've always thought I've been writing to myself, but this time when I feel like someone's been visiting..I feel good. So Thank you :)

I've been intending to share some pictures about my trip to Pantai Cermin, but I guess I'll do that later 'cause there's been some other things bothering me lately..

I've currently into Bella and Edward..I don't know why. I've re-watched Twilight and New Moon this week which means I've watched each of them twice up till now. Their love makes me curious..I can never make the prediction easily like how the story would go. Well, I've not been reading any of Meyer's book about the series, and I enjoy keeping the predictions to myself whilst watching them :)

Besides all of the great things on holidays, there's been some problems that kind of distract my joy lately. I've been planning on having a great trip this end of June..but guess some things are not supportive. There has been many obstacles that seem to make any of it impossible. It's actually not a huge problem for the trip to be canceled.. but I just hope the obstacles can be soon wiped off. I don't expect any kind of these things to approach me especially on my free days. So please Buddha, I know I've been saying this over and over, make her fine..give her strength. I'm begging You ;( sadhu3x

Pantai Cermin I'm cominggg

BOOOOOOO I'M GOING :D

Mom said yes and dad said up to you. Well, actually dad's "up to you" doesn't really mean that he allows me.. but anyway, he said I'm nearly a grown-up and I can think by myself. I give him a thousand reasons not to worry too much, and of course I WILL take care of myself! besides, my maid is coming with me, many of the students will bring theirs too tomorrow. At least that will make my daddy feel less-worried, someone's gonna look after when something's not right :P

I totally hope tomorrow will be sunny! not just the day but also my mood. sometimes I just can't control my own mood and that I ruin the day I'm actually looking forward to. GEE tomorrow isn't gonna happen that way! SO yes, I need to have a fuullll rest tonight and let tomorrow be another memorable history (;

NIGHTY NIGHT WORLD!

wishes waiting to be granted

First Day was fine. I only did input 2 books of data which was requested by mom. I went home right after finished inputting as I had to attend my piano lesson in the evening. Since I still got one and a half hour before the lesson, and both of my hands felt so numb, I decided to take a short nap. But guess what, it wasn't 'short'.. unless you call a 2-hour sleep a short nap. I hurried to the bathroom to fresh myself, changed clothes, then went straight to the lesson. sigh I was 40 minutes late and I only have 20 minutes left before the lesson ended =.=

Today was the second day. Although I'd set 2 alarms to wake me up, I still woke up (very) late. Well, it was reasonable as I watched Valentine's Day until 1 and went to bed at 2 a.m :q. So I went to the office at 4 pm since daddy said he would be going out and would call me when he returned to the office. I've got nothing to do today except observing how Dad's 'right-hand' discussed things with Dad. I promise myself not to be late tomorrow as dad asked me to help one of the employers tomorrow :)

anyways, I've just bought around sixteen DVDs recently. Four of them are series movies. I know it was quite a number but I will soon finish watching all of them :P OHYES I've just registered myself to a Basic Class of Photography :D The lesson consists of 8 meetings and I will have two each week. 20% will be about the theory and 80% will be the practical :) I'm sooo excited but nervous as well. I will be going there by myself and I'm afraid that I will be the only newbie in photography. Aih I should start reading the manual book of EOS 550D soon as the first step (;

Remember I wrote about the Pajang's family? They're holding a gathering this Thursday at Pantai Cermin. And my lovely teacher kept asking me to join them (around 30 students). She knows it won't be easy to have the permission but she said she was really hoping I would be there, as she had not seen me for so long ;) well it's true. Since I entered senior high school, life has turned me into a busy-bee every day. I had only caught up twice with her and others. And I miss how they used to fill my days every day back then in junior-high (; which is why I NEED to attend this reunion, but then daddy has always been the obstacle :( he said he would think for 2-3 days before he answered me. well, tomorrow is the deadline, and I'm getting more terrified each day thinking what if he doesn't approve? sigh I really hope I could be there, Daddy. =s

Medan has been raining heavily like every night which is very worrying. The bolts which followed the rain have always frightened me. GEZ

Oh yes! I forgot to mention that many of the VOC-ers are now having a memorable trip in Redang ;D they started their journey on 6th of June and now they have reached the wonderful Redang Island. I bet all of them are enjoying every minute of the time they are together :P FYI, they have planned this trip for like 10 months ago and they all were looking forward to this day ever since. Too bad I wasn't allowed to join them, but then I'm Happy for them :D

Going to continue watching Dvd :p will blog again tomorrow!


I shall make it!

amazed

blogging was in my To-Do list but then I seem to have too many things I would like to share and don't know where to start.

Exam was fine. I hope I did good enough. By 'good enough' I mean I could fulfill the requirements to stay at the plus class. I SHOULD stay there- I've got too comfortable with the environment and friends- I HAVE TO. (:

It's true that LIFE FEELS SWEETER ON HOLIDAYS, don't you think? I've got the whole time to do what I want to, without having to feel guilty. Since the first day of the exam, I'd got my mind on this one-month break and the tons of plans to do. I kept on pushing myself to do the best I could as NO REGRETS are expected on holidays. (Although now I still have a little guilt in me and (again) cursed myself for not being discipline to revise all subjects far before exam.) But when I reached the end of the exam and went home, all my plans seemed to fade one by one. Gee I guessed I was just tooooooo excited that I got confused on which one to do first :P

Talking about plans, I'm in the middle of confusion whether to take photography and cloth-designing classes or not. I actually am interested with both of them, but I'm afraid that they will turn out not like what I expect. Photography class is very much considered as I begin to show some enthusiasm towards it recently. But, in cloth-designing, there are still aspects I need to consider carefully before I finally make the decision. Or else I'm afraid it would not have a happy ending; and I don't want to waste such big sum of money on that.

Oh Yes, I forgot to mention about my CANON EOS 550D ♥
I had it before exam. And since daddy paid it for me first, I asked for his account number so I could transfer such amount of money to him. Guess what, HE LAUGHED AT ME. I said I was really planning to buy it with my own pocket money, then he answered if I was serious then I should actually go to the office to work with him, not necessarily transferring any money to him. Then I thought it was not a bad idea too as I could gain new experience on this holiday, and make use of this opportunity to train myself. Tomorrow will be the first day I take part in Dad's job. I know it won't be easy but it's the only way I could help daddy and I hope I don't spoil. :)

Oh yes, I think my health is in trouble recently. Seems like all the pain I hold during exam are now showing themselves one by one. I've had one migraine, dizziness, days with lack of sleep, and now, stomachache. Still thankful they didn't appear during exam.

Talking about life.. It has given me so many surprises in just these few days of holidays. I think I've grown more mature.. and blessed. Suddenly all my positive thoughts- which I think have just returned from a long holiday -began to fill me again. I feel that I am now more capable of handling things around me and not taking every single thing people say as serious as before. I've given myself a time to relax my mind and see life in a different perception. Seriously, I didn't even dare to imagine things will turn out like they are now. But as I'm feeling more comfortable, I begin to worry that they will all disappear without my notice.. again. But since I've hardly gained the ability of letting go, I believe this time and many other times in the future I would be able to make it again, if that's what it takes. So Yeah, I'm not going to allow myself to live in regrets, and for being so fragile anymore. Especially not for that particular reason. (:




I should be going to the dreamland soon. Oh I hope I will do great on my first day :)

xoxoxoxo

A Day To Be Joyful and Learn

Yesterday- 2nd May, 2010

I did great today by making sure to myself that every plan would turn out good. And I'm so glad it came true :b
At first my plan to see a movie was nearly canceled. Since I couldn't stand waiting in the (very) looooong queue at 21cinema with my empty stomach, I decided to return after lunch. Well, I expected the vision of another long queue but then I guess we (me and karvina)were lucky. It was 2.30 p.m and we kind of expecting Iron Man2 back-seat tickets were still available, but then 3 studios' tickets were full (can you imagine?) until 9 pm. We had no other option except IP Man2, and after both of us agreed, we bought 2 tickets of the movie shown at 3.10 p.m in row A. :)

I bought plenty of things yesterday and ate a loott @.@ BUT they brightened up my mood :P

Mom was home yesterday and she bought me a lot of clothes and accessories. ALL of them are Korean style. Geez if I didn't know where she went, I would've thought she was home from Korea (X

I realized I had typed some words yesterday that would no doubt hurt my mother if she read them. I know all this time I keep telling myself I should be patient, I should listen, I should think. I have NEVER wanted my mother to hurt my mother and I love her sooooo much, I mean it. Sometimes I just can't think clearly as my ego seemed to start blocking the whole view of the goods one of her. My craving for permanent freedom, I guess.

Well, one thing I may not truly understand now is how hard to be a mother is. She has to be caring, loving, and patient. She also has to be firm to us every time we make mistakes. She has to be a loving wife, a hardworking career woman, a caring mother, as well as a well-behaved daughter-in-law. To play such massive role in our family may be quite impossible, but I am sure to say, all of US have never doubt my love for her. I know I can never thank you enough after all you've done and will keep on doing for me, for US. ♥

I'm so sorry for hurting youuu :(
I ♥ YOU MOTHER, I REALLY DO.

Be blessed.

OH MY.

I seriously don't know what's going on with today, or what's going on with me. I think I need to flower-bathed now.

First,
Today is the National Education Day. Then our class and several other plus classes' students were asked to attend a ceremony at school today, which of course we protested. Having to wake up in 6 ( although I might be at 7 :p ) on once-in-a-week holiday is too early! who would've not protested?
Then guess what, yes, I WASN'T THERE. I slept at 1 (again!) this morning, and I had reminded myself -no matter what- to wake up early at 6.30. I wanted to prove to myself that even though mom and dad are not around, I can still be discipline. Isn't that always has been one of my attempts to show that I'm a grown-up already? But then, I can't even prove it to myself! BIG SIGH*

Second,
As I didn't want to worsen my Sunday, I prepared myself to attend the Sunday Class earlier. Then guess what? It's on holiday, and I didn't know that! )x

I begin to wonder if those are punishments for me. For sleeping too late, being a procrastinator these 2 weeks. :X
well then, mom is home in no time and I will return to my old habit. No online at night. Revise every night. Not allowed to do any of my passions in weekdays. and SO ON. which I conclude I AM NOT ALLOWED TO BE MYSELF AND DO WHAT I WANT EXCEPT STUDYING AND STUDYING ON WEEKDAYS. Sometimes on weekends I would also be lectured for being so lazy.
MY GAWD, merely thinking of those make me feel nausea. When will my mom actually release me from this what-I-call the cage of torment? :/ The answer is in myself, I know.

I've had several plans ahead for today. I truly wish none of the unexpected things will occur again in the date with my dear later.
Oh Buddha, shall You bless Your devotee for she has been committing wrongdoings lately. Sadhu.. sadhu.. sadhu.