Someday

I know I haven't blogged for almost two weeks. I didn't feel like to. There has been something occupying my mind lately. No it's not about education, or relationship, but more about family..my Dad precisely.

It's kind of saddens me the problem I have with my Dad lately. Moreover I'm leaving in 33 days. Yeah the date is set. But slightly on the other hand, this matter makes me ponder a lot, about me growing up. Of course a problem is not a good thing, but besides trying to solve it on my way, at the moment I'm just trying to take the positive of it. Nothing much as a positive, besides letting me to manage matters myself, and more like a training to get used to living far away from parents. It's positive now, isn't it?

However, deep inside my heart I'm still heartbroken. I've always considered my family's response to my actions. But probably not always do what they say. It is not my desire to be against dad. Although that action of mine said the other way. Sigh Dad is just way too protective to his daughters. Since I'm the only daughter living with him for the past 4 years, the whole protection is for me. Don't know I should be glad or not.

I don't know how many times I've stated this, anywhere, but I'm the adventurous type of person, just so you know. I can never sit still doing a same thing monotonously. (unless it's an entertainment) I like to experience different new things, learn various languages, or musical instruments, basically anything of skills! I want to fall, and get up, and fall again, get up again. But I can only do all those things with the support of my surroundings..my loved ones. If they are not there for me whenever I want them to be, I'll feel this life is not worth living. Mind my depression, but it has ever crossed my mind countless times in this year..ever since I no longer have the only person in this world to love me unconditionally....my Grandma.

On one hand, I'm not fully prepared to leave my hometown, where life must be easier on me, with helpers and parents. But on the other hand, I just can't wait to prove to my parents, and my family, and Grandma, that I, Winny Teh, their loving daughter, sister and granddaughter, is no longer a spoiled, useless, not-worth-to-trust little brat. Yeah 'someday' is coming closer.

“When we were five, they asked us what we wanted to be when we grew up. Our answers were thing like astronaut, president, or in my case… princess.

When we were ten, they asked again and we answered – rock star, cowboy, or in my case, gold medalist. But now that we’ve grown up, they want a serious answer. Well, how ’bout this: who the hell knows?!

This isn’t the time to make hard and fast decisions, its time to make mistakes. Take the wrong train and get stuck somewhere chill. Fall in love – a lot. Major in philosophy ’cause there’s no way to make a career out of that. Change your mind. Then change it again, because nothing is permanent.

So make as many mistakes as you can. That way, someday, when they ask again what we want to be… we won’t have to guess. We’ll know.”