Hi. Brain is still messed up. Mood is still swinging.
Bye.
Friday, March 16, 2012
Thursday, March 15, 2012
A post
Sometimes I wish.. I am not so sensitive. or moody. Not to be easily affected by actions from people I care, when they treat me less right, less kind.
Recently mood swings have been way up and next moment way down. There seems to be lesser and lesser reasons to have a steady mood. Either I'm not quite satisfied with the present, or I'm grateful.
Funny how humans seem to have no control over their own life. Anything could change any time. I hate it, truly. So sick of having to rely on someone else, be it family, or friends, to be the source of my own happiness. If something just goes wrong, the next thing I know I'd be blaming the nature of life again.
One of the reasons I've been blogging less lately is mainly because I don't want to blame or complain or bother to describe what I'm going through lately. To me, a post is a bit like an evaluation. If I happen to be going through hard times, a post could either relieve my burden or make it worse cause I should face the bitter truth. So yeah, let's call this a post.
Recently mood swings have been way up and next moment way down. There seems to be lesser and lesser reasons to have a steady mood. Either I'm not quite satisfied with the present, or I'm grateful.
Funny how humans seem to have no control over their own life. Anything could change any time. I hate it, truly. So sick of having to rely on someone else, be it family, or friends, to be the source of my own happiness. If something just goes wrong, the next thing I know I'd be blaming the nature of life again.
One of the reasons I've been blogging less lately is mainly because I don't want to blame or complain or bother to describe what I'm going through lately. To me, a post is a bit like an evaluation. If I happen to be going through hard times, a post could either relieve my burden or make it worse cause I should face the bitter truth. So yeah, let's call this a post.
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Was
The fact that I'm quite over it already sometimes surprises myself.
This morning felt like a long morning. For a while some pieces I've left behind came again as if asking me to spare some room for them in my current life. All I asked was to let me move on with my life, why does it seem to be too much?
I believe things ended for a reason. And for me, that is to let me have another new beginning. Since I came here, I have decided to open myself to new opportunities, new possibilities, new friends, new experience, something different from my past. I don't deny the fact that the past is when I once felt the happiest I could ever be. It's just to now, those are the PAST. It is a beautiful place to visit, but I don't hope to stay there anymore, let alone re-live it. It may be easier for me since I've actually lived 4000 miles apart from the places and people that may remind me of the past. But it's not a reason for you to not let go.
Wrong perception it is, if it's saying I've moved on from the life in my hometown. I still talk to my close friends there, I still have my favorite food there, and occasionally, I miss the atmosphere. I simply decided to let go of the things which used to fill a huge part of my life. To no longer take heed of the things which used to affect me so much. To close my heart for the old things, and open for other new ones. In short, to m o v e o n.
I hope this is enough to clarify all the thoughts wondered. Never do I intend to hurt anyone who was important to me. What I'm doing is just letting life flows. I have no idea what the future is going to be, thus I can only do my best for now.
Cheers,
This morning felt like a long morning. For a while some pieces I've left behind came again as if asking me to spare some room for them in my current life. All I asked was to let me move on with my life, why does it seem to be too much?
I believe things ended for a reason. And for me, that is to let me have another new beginning. Since I came here, I have decided to open myself to new opportunities, new possibilities, new friends, new experience, something different from my past. I don't deny the fact that the past is when I once felt the happiest I could ever be. It's just to now, those are the PAST. It is a beautiful place to visit, but I don't hope to stay there anymore, let alone re-live it. It may be easier for me since I've actually lived 4000 miles apart from the places and people that may remind me of the past. But it's not a reason for you to not let go.
Wrong perception it is, if it's saying I've moved on from the life in my hometown. I still talk to my close friends there, I still have my favorite food there, and occasionally, I miss the atmosphere. I simply decided to let go of the things which used to fill a huge part of my life. To no longer take heed of the things which used to affect me so much. To close my heart for the old things, and open for other new ones. In short, to m o v e o n.
I hope this is enough to clarify all the thoughts wondered. Never do I intend to hurt anyone who was important to me. What I'm doing is just letting life flows. I have no idea what the future is going to be, thus I can only do my best for now.
Cheers,
Monday, March 12, 2012
My gratitude
Heyyyylo. It's been a while, again. TOOOO many surprising special things have happened these 2 weeks :D
Shall we start from My birthday surprises? ;)
Three days before me turning eighteen, hestya visited me from Melbie! What a nice surprise caused apparently she came one day earlier than the date she told me. Was shocked yet delighted to finally being able to catch up with her. Went for a city tour guided by me and Ian for those 5 amazing days... <3
Anyways on the midnight of 27th Feb, sisters prepared a sweet little surprise + with the help of titi :3
Look at all those balloooooons and the 'Happy Birthday' sign! Was spoiled being the little girl in the family :;)
Next surprise came from Indo friends here... beloved foundi peers ;)
They actually baked the cake themselves, and wrote those drawings on the cake. I'm being honest here, the cake tastes soooooo good! The inside is so dense and sweet and I could feel their love HEHE <3 They also folded a bouquet of flowers from thick papers ( Don't know what it's called) and put it in an empty cup of my favorite bubble tea drink ;) Inside the straws their wishes I swear they were so sweet hahaha
Went to school for 3 hours afterwards and wished a girl which has the same birthday as mine, a happy birthday! Her name is Monique, she's from Hk and she's 20th now! :)
Skipped classes for the first time to accompany titi roaming around the city for half of the day.. Went home to get ready for dinner with sisters and closed the day with surprises from VOC and #7wonders :;)
Was a spoiled princess that day! <33333333
Lengthy post it is, but I couldn't thank God enough for bringing all those amazing people into my life and never walk out til this second. They played a massive role in shaping me into who I am today.. So THANK YOU guys.. My life feels half complete ;)
xoxoxoxoxoxoxxo
'
Shall we start from My birthday surprises? ;)
Three days before me turning eighteen, hestya visited me from Melbie! What a nice surprise caused apparently she came one day earlier than the date she told me. Was shocked yet delighted to finally being able to catch up with her. Went for a city tour guided by me and Ian for those 5 amazing days... <3
Anyways on the midnight of 27th Feb, sisters prepared a sweet little surprise + with the help of titi :3
Look at all those balloooooons and the 'Happy Birthday' sign! Was spoiled being the little girl in the family :;)
Next surprise came from Indo friends here... beloved foundi peers ;)
They actually baked the cake themselves, and wrote those drawings on the cake. I'm being honest here, the cake tastes soooooo good! The inside is so dense and sweet and I could feel their love HEHE <3 They also folded a bouquet of flowers from thick papers ( Don't know what it's called) and put it in an empty cup of my favorite bubble tea drink ;) Inside the straws their wishes I swear they were so sweet hahaha
Went to school for 3 hours afterwards and wished a girl which has the same birthday as mine, a happy birthday! Her name is Monique, she's from Hk and she's 20th now! :)
 |
| Mind my flappy arms :X |
Skipped classes for the first time to accompany titi roaming around the city for half of the day.. Went home to get ready for dinner with sisters and closed the day with surprises from VOC and #7wonders :;)
Was a spoiled princess that day! <33333333
Lengthy post it is, but I couldn't thank God enough for bringing all those amazing people into my life and never walk out til this second. They played a massive role in shaping me into who I am today.. So THANK YOU guys.. My life feels half complete ;)
xoxoxoxoxoxoxxo
'
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
幸福在哪儿？
How has everyone been? Guess regular readers will know what I'm about to say.. Yeah, I miss blogging.
Do you guys realize the power we release when we have a strong feeling for something is so huge?
It is amazing how that feeling could end up distracting our mind to focus on only that one matter, the source of that strong feeling to occur.
Sometimes I like to think why such thing could happen; why can the feelings from heart distract our mind? Why does the connection feel so strong & unbreakable and there is nothing I, as the master, can do to stop or prevent it from happening? Or in short words, it's beyond my control.
I hate not being able to control or prevent unexpected ( as in bad ) situations from happening. When I could foresee the ending of it, and I could do nothing to fix the situation, I feel helpless.
I hate the fact that when I want something real bad, I have to achieve it. In any quickest way possible. But this is something else... This should not be achieved in a short time. The timing is too fast; the feeling is wrong.
What can I do to erase all the feeling I've felt? The short memories made? Why do I have to have that feeling now? I don't feel like worsen things...
那些爱过的感觉都太深刻 我不想在痛了。
Do you guys realize the power we release when we have a strong feeling for something is so huge?
It is amazing how that feeling could end up distracting our mind to focus on only that one matter, the source of that strong feeling to occur.
Sometimes I like to think why such thing could happen; why can the feelings from heart distract our mind? Why does the connection feel so strong & unbreakable and there is nothing I, as the master, can do to stop or prevent it from happening? Or in short words, it's beyond my control.
I hate not being able to control or prevent unexpected ( as in bad ) situations from happening. When I could foresee the ending of it, and I could do nothing to fix the situation, I feel helpless.
I hate the fact that when I want something real bad, I have to achieve it. In any quickest way possible. But this is something else... This should not be achieved in a short time. The timing is too fast; the feeling is wrong.
What can I do to erase all the feeling I've felt? The short memories made? Why do I have to have that feeling now? I don't feel like worsen things...
那些爱过的感觉都太深刻 我不想在痛了。
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Short
Hi. Some things have been going my way recently. To think about it all, it's so much to take in. If I flash back, this day will not have occurred in my mind.
I'm so confounded. Tangled. You name it. There has been much changes lately I can barely remember them all. Yeah my memory is that short. Dear God, whatever that is yet to come, I pray for strength and wisdom. I hope I'll have a clear mind and won't be emotional in making decisions _/\_
I'm so confounded. Tangled. You name it. There has been much changes lately I can barely remember them all. Yeah my memory is that short. Dear God, whatever that is yet to come, I pray for strength and wisdom. I hope I'll have a clear mind and won't be emotional in making decisions _/\_
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