spring here autumn there

 

 

 

ios7!

 

Ola! Greetings!
I guess no explanation better explains my absence other than the fact that I've been living my life.
And no better reason drags me to this page other than escaping the reality and having that ponder-moment.

Oh wells,
First of all, a brief update on what's going on in my flat life:

• There is an upcoming mid semester exam on this Saturday.. on the subject that concerns me the most this semester: Investment and Portfolio Management (Finance). Oh and a 30% worth quiz the next mid-week!
• Tonight is the mid-autumn festival night where -fyi- Chinese families (if not Asian in general) celebrate by eating moon cake, watching the moon..and Korean families celebrate a three-day holiday called Chuseok by travelling to their hometowns to honor ancestors and share a feast of traditional foods!
  
  As for myself, I've just finished my catering dinner and a free moon cake that comes with Chatime.
• I've updated to an ios7 this morning and so far I'm loving it sooooo! 

 A brief skype session with family back in hometown this afternoon, plus a supposedly 'family' celebration tonight has a way to remind me to be homesick :|


I know complaining is not a way, but I just gotta express it in any way be it in words, or in a chat to my people.. thus here I am. I know what would be better now is for me to remind myself the reason I choose to live far away from my loved ones. I'm happy I'm living that one dream I've always wished for, I'm happy I've got to live out of my comfort zone and have an excellent opportunity to learn more and more new things each day. And for that, I am beyond grateful and blessed. ;)

Of course a step toward a bright career life is not one that is without challenges. I've found that my worst enemy, and my best companion, is myself. Tricking the mind to do the work is one hell of a task.. good enough to be declared my hardest every-day job -_-

When I lose track of my goals, or when I forgot to set one before I start, is almost always the reason why distractions and wants are what I tick off, instead of work and have-to(s). Goals are that important in contributing to my determination. Unfortunately, I often don't set them before I start working.

Well well,
not to bore anyone with my uninteresting uni life, I think it's best that I continue pursuing my goals for this hectic semester.. which includes studying, and studying, and studying. (just kidding, I enjoy studying ----> just kidding)

Wish me persistence, and a wee bit of luck ;)
Hope you are doing well! :3

Until next post,
 x littlemissteh x

will you will i will we

There will always be that time in life where nothing seems to fall into place. When nothing seems satisfying, or right to begin with. In my life this time happens occasionally, and it is now.

To me, strengths and weaknesses are part of a person, also form a person. So when I think I lose one of my greatest - or shall I say proudest - strength, I instantly feel crap. I would start thinking of how disappointing I will be to my proud mental and financial sponsors ( mom and dad and close friends), and the more I go into that the more I build the pressure...for myself.

During this point of time I usually will attempt to seek solutions if not from my own ideas, from those I think might be helpful. Once in a while, I try to simply let loose of control by underestimating the situation. Trying to zoom out from my position to find I am merely in a piece in the big puzzle. This rule would repeat itself at times of desperate moment and one kind listener is all I need as the catalyst to the healing.

However, this other thing bugging me is no-brainer. In the sense that logic can't stand alone, if to get rid of it. This is probably one of the reasons why some people, me including, are not a fan of associating feelings when mingling, and may seem more like defending, holding, inside. The fear of things not going to end in our favour is probably more like why. No solution yet, no idea how the path will look like. But I'll stay around the corner of the field, just in time when the game needs a little twist.

As for now, I aim to strive for excellence in kicking final's *ss! 

and as long as we keep believing, there is hope. xx

cheers,

littlemissteh

the place beyond the pines

..because if I have come to enjoy myself, and just being with myself, nothing else can be so big a deal anymore.

counting stars

what happened in-between mugging.

because drawing on the paper is too mainstream.

#writingonhand

"everything that hurts me makes me feel alive. "

oo, littlemissteh

Churros me up

Supposed to cheer me through my struggle of completing assignment.

PS, shall do this often. Remember final's coming soon?

PPS, happy now? LOL 

a dollar for every smile

Today I will share a story about my struggle in the past.
When I was 15, one private tuition teacher I hold dear most once told me that a relationship is not worth the fight, if it sacrifices the trust of whose I needed to be able to survive life. I think just like how in economics is explained, the opportunity costs of an action is large...firms or in this case I, need to prioritize. She taught me that the feeling of affection, desire that we feel strongly at one moment, could end in the short run..therefore the permanent lose of trust is not worth the temporary passion. She even brought with her some real-life examples to prove her point. And in the end, despite her influence and persuasion, I neglected her advice. Rebellion was my probably middle name (who knows if it still is) or at that time it was just me trying to take risks in my life.. high, uncountable ones.

"The reason so many people find it so hard to be happy, is that they will always see:

The past better than it was;

The present worse than it is;

and the future less resolved than it will be. " 

-anonymous.

As I am sitting and typing this post in my dining table now, looking back to that day, if I am to say I didn't wish things were different, I lie. However, the only moment I am capable of controlling, is not ones back in the days but here in the present. If I were to live in deep regrets, some time in my life would have been wasted...unrepeatable moments, chances of something better would have been missed.. don't you agree? Therefore this logic is what have been keeping me going, surviving to this day.

Do you know the scary thing of having passed through an event in life that has played me emotionally...? Is that I no longer play in the game with as high bet as I did once before. Taking into accounts the potential damages that could reiterate, let alone the loss that could not be repaid.

Today, I stand back from the battlefield. I give ground.

Ever since the day it all ended, I swore I would be more open. To other chances, other opportunities that were knocking on my door but I missed out...and to seek the ones that are worth the pursue.

I personally say I have now travelled far...meeting wonderful people along the way, encountered remarkable stories of my kind. My mind and eyes are more opened..each day I become the wisest I could ever be.

So one question, if I could tell my previous self what to do, what would it be?

Lucky is I have gone through that essential phase in life. My advice won't be to my old self, but to my now self, is that to do what I have been doing: to be in the battlefield only if I think the sacrifices will be worth it, to pursue only if the circumstances. And how would I know that? When the moment comes, I believe I just know. At least I hope so.

New Zealand 2012

signing off,
thelittleteh x

my cup of tea x

so excited that this lovely has finally arrived to my doorstep couple days ago! it was serious love at first sight {3 and next thing I realised it's already on my wish list... moving on to the shopping cart! hehehe 

I haven't really experimented with all the features therefore no complete reviews yet. However, this PentaxQ10 is a compact system camera ( in fact, the world's smallest of its kind ) with interchangeable lenses and so far it hasn't let me down with its 02 standard 5-15 mm f 2.8-4.5 zoom lenses. There's so many combinations of colours for the body and grip to choose from! I spent hours contemplating for either white-gold or pink-gold.. and ended up succumbing to the fav colour from childhood. Now looking at the appearance itself is already enough to excite me to take millions of good pictures!!!! :p

Hope you all have a good Sunday... Signing off to continue my study!

Check my instagram @wnyteh for frequent updates!

Until next procrastination,

winnyteh x

radioactive

hey-lo! it's the middle of the week, and so far how has this week been treating you guys? :D
Today was the busiest day, in a while! I went to campus at 10.30 and got home at 4-4.30 then went out again for a non-campus activities and reached home at 9.30! yet before I did anything ( productive/useful cos I've only been slacking ) it's now already past midnight and I gotta sleep soon to wake up early for a lecture tomorrow! yeah it's one of those days, i know....

Anyways, remember that I mentioned in the last post how I have all these workloads? It'll hopefully be less heavier by next week yay! I'm so looking forward to the end of this month to see if I managed to get this one huge workload thing done! I'll update more about it when it's time... hehe ;)

I guess that's all I'd like to say for now, have a productive & happy days for the rest of the week guys! <3 p="">

signing off,

Bali 2012

Signing in simply to mark my attendance on the blog!

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just kidding. 

This is probably the umpteenth time I clarify myself why I am absent for so long, and yes for the umpteenth time the answer is still university commitment. 

I am currently in the middle of assignments(sssssssssss) + test + off-campus work to the point that I decide to postpone it all to share about it in the cyber world. I can't believe one month has flown just like that. I know it's probably due to the abundant work that I lose count of dates. Too much (as always) have been going on that I can't share my day-to-day activities - I'll probably bore you with my vent on days dealing with monstersssignments.

I have met with many wonderful people lately and I'd like to think about that; which every now and then interferes with my studies. I'd like to think about how the short future would look like and that it'd be great if I could see it coming sooner. I have made mistakes in life, at least one each day, and after all happenings in the past, I'm afraid to make new one..not on this field.

So maybe every once in a while, can you remind me?

Until the next post,
thelittleteh

What happened during Easter

He-llo!

The past five days of Easter break have been about a (mental) visit to my hometown. The reason being a hometown friend from Melbourne flew over the state and came for a food, places, and people trip; in which I was in the role of being both the trip guide and companion. I call it a mental visit to my hometown (I am physically here) mainly because most of the people she and I hang out with during her stay were hometown friends, therefore hometown memories and stories are revisited and shared.

It was not long ago -barely a month- since I last returned from my stay in hometown for summer holidays, and I have set my focus back to the university life I have here instead of constantly recalling the holiday mood. But these days during her stay I've been not only updated with the current life stories of my hometown people, but also reminiscing the past blue and bright days my life was once filled with. Nostalgia should explain the event well; which also occurs to me now that it has become my new favourite hobby. Coining from how Tavi Gevinson defines the term: This is when the act of remembering an event becomes more enjoyable than the event itself, conjuring feelings that are warm and fuzzy, but also painful in the best way.

I have a habit of examining why/what makes the feeling of the after-effect of an event, or in other words what makes me feel gloomy, happy, sad, all the emotions during the happening of an event or after the event has ended. The positive emotions I have felt the past few days must be the result of the event of togetherness I have lost contact with for a while. Moreover the people I met up with belonged to some pages in my high school chapters.. even the Melbournian herself. It took me one night to open up the chapters in the previous two books (years), and without doubt the most-filled chapters in my life.

To sum up, I have finished my Easter tour around Sydney as my friend has left the town this early morning. And I sure hope she had a whale of time like I did with her and other companions.

Taken in Darling Harbour

Honey butter bread

Thai food goodness

Seafood galore

Best known pork ribs in town

The devil's delight lives up to its name. @ Pancakes on The Rocks

Deep fried MARS -chocolate- bar!

Overlooking the Sydney Tower

Until next guilty pleasure post,

Winny Teh x

Still figuring it out.

Hello there!

How have you blogwalkers been doing?

Today I've decided to share the reasons behind blogging, and most of the random gloominess, rants....since I decide to take blogging more seriously :)

They say if you don't know who the writer is, you may not be bothered to read. And I'd like to be my honest self when writing..so I'm going to start by introducing the writer who's responsible for all the contents in this blog...me!

My name is Winny Teh - if you haven't already known. I'm currently pursuing my tertiary education in one of the best cities to live in (according to me) - Sydney, Australia. My first language is not English, but I'm very keen to learn to improve..so please bear with me :p

In terms of attitudes, I'm as stiff as my physical self. I take things very seriously sometimes hehehe.
I think I'm almost always either thinking or daydreaming! Before writing, I have been thinking how to write this post for quite some time :p

I tend to keep things to myself, but I've decided to loosen up a little since I realise I may be missing out a lot in life- particularly teenage life! :)

I think it has been my lifelong desire to not think about the reactions, responses I may get from doing this or that.. about what I expect others to do, and what they expect from me. Uhm to put it simple, I hope to be a more honest to myself, and to live the present to the most; carpe diem!

Next thing I'd like to share is what I'm always struggling with: being a part of the society. Although I'm very interested, I don't know what people think about me. I never do. Have people been keeping it to themselves, or am I the one being too insensitive to not realise anything? hehehe 

Maybe this explains my uncertain behaviour towards other people.. or why I almost always don't know what to do, what to focus on. 

My random and depressing blog posts are usually due to my outburst since I was not able to directly tell the target reader about what I really want to say.. or simply because I am dissatisfied about certain things and I really feel about saying it, but don't feel like talking to anyone. I feel sorry for those who happened to read my rants during those periods :S

At the moment, the reason that motivates me to blog is to share.. whether they are thoughts, ideas, moments, inspirations, or simply random happenings. I am inspired by many wonderful bloggers out there through their thoughts and writings. I'd like to do something with my blog too! :)

When I am asked about my dreams, what I want to become.. I don't know what to answer. It's not like I don't think about the future, I think it's more like I am not sure. Sometimes I think I'm as lost as Alice-when she first entered the wonderland- when it comes to answering those kinds of questions :b

I think that someday..maybe I'll know the answers to the hundreds of questions I have. Maybe I'll grow wiser and realise about more things. Or maybe I'll live life differently from the way I do now.

But right now, despite things I've come to understand about life, I'm still figuring it out. 

Much love, 

littleteh x

Part 1 1/2

Often we misunderstand the feeling of yearning with wanting. No it's different. Cos as much as we wish for the situation to be the same, it never will be. The people in the picture taken ages ago change. The moment is impossible to be exactly replayed. (Yes I say impossible.) What's passed is past. That's why moments become memories. Lovers become strangers. Enemies become friends. Time. Could. Change. Everything. (learn this)

New spirit

Hello.
First of all, Happy warm New Year! :)
Where are you starting the New Year in?

As for myself, I have finally landed on my hometown again after having been gone for 6 months. It feels so good to be in the same town with the family and friends, the place where I used to spend 3/4 of each year in.. the place I often call Home :)

Does New Year have a particular meaning to you? For me New Year represents a fresh new start, and a time to change to another life-book. (yes I believe a lifetime means a group of books) And it's up to us what stories we want to write in. Maybe some things remain the way they are from last year. Maybe some others need to be redefined, and maybe the rest just needs to end.

What I'm about to share is the things that need to end. for me.

I'm actually that kind of person who when things get rough, like to look back and reminisce the old good times. High school years have the most happenings I can hardly forget til the present times. Sometimes I long for the friendship bond I had back then with my classmates, or the school-tuition-home-tuition routine that I took for granted, or the anticipation of meeting the same friends in the same class each morning I arrived at school. Yes all of those little events that always dance around in my memories.. good old times they are. ;)

Now for the parts -I guess I prefer to say- letting go.

The grudges I've hold since I left high school.
The people whom I cherished sincerely, whom I put faith in, but whom I feel betrayed from.. I probably won't be as strong as I am today without all those challenges. Thank you
Last but not least, to the good old memories I've been trying to relive. I've made a mistake by trying to walk backwards. All I get is nothing but pain. 

I forgive and let go..

May from this moment onwards I acquire the skills to prioritise professionally. If not for the sake of a clear future, for the sake of a happier me. xoxo

PS, This is my way to detoxify my mind, maybe you have yours! Nevertheless, for this New Year, try to eliminate the negative things by gradually filling in the positive ones..  it's easier to do it now that you still have the new year spirit, for a fresh new start!


Good luck,

Midnight encounters

I'm furious.
Not at how things aren't on my side, but at how I always believe they are.
Not at how they have me fooled, but at how I'm always too delusional to see the truth.
Not at how they play tricks on me, but at how I got tricked more than once.

In the end I'm sad.
Because some things are not meant to be put faith in no matter what.
Because some things are never meant to change..
No matter how much I've always believed the otherwise.

Really (정말)

By Song Joong Ki

사랑했었잖아 정말
saranghessotjana jongmal
We were in love, really

좋아했었잖아 정말
joahessotjana jongmal
We liked each other, really

미칠 것 같아서 터질 것 같아서 정말
michil got gataso tojil got gataso jongmal
Felt like going crazy, felt like I’d burst, really

이제는 떠나자 다시
ijeneun ttonaja dasi
So let’s leave now again

니가 또 그리워 오늘도
niga tto geuriwo oneuldo
I miss you again today

가슴에 남아서 지울 수 없어서 정말
gaseume namaso jiul su obsoso jongmal
Because you remain in my heart and I can’t erase you, really,

이렇게도 아픈데 난
irokedo apeunde nan
I’m hurting like this


사랑해서 눈물이 난다 가슴이 아파 와서 또 눈물이 나
sarangheso nunmuri nanda gaseumi apa waso tto nunmuri na
Because I love you, tears fall
Because my heart hurts, tears fall again

다시 널 잃어버릴까 다시 잃어버릴까 내 두 눈이 너만 본다
dasi noriroborilkka dasi iroborilkka ne du nuni noman bonda
In case I lose you again, in case I lose you again
My two eyes only look at you

널 사랑하는 날 좀 바라봐
nol saranghaneun nal jom barabwa
Look at me, who loves you

이렇게 눈물이 나서 자꾸 눈물이 나서
iroke nunmuri naso jakku nunmuri naso
Because tears fall like this, because tears keep falling,

다시 살아도 또 다시 살아도 너야
dasi sarado tto dasi sarado noya
Even if I’m born again, even if I’m born again, it’s you



이별의 시작은 그렇게
ibyore sijageun geuroke
I said that I hate the start of goodbyes

싫다고 했는데 이렇게
siltago henneunde iroke


다시 사랑하면 널 그리워하면 정말
dasi saranghamyon nol geuriwohamyon jongmal
But if I love again, if I miss you, really,

돌아올 수 있겠니 난
doraol su itgenni nan
Can you come back?

사랑해서 눈물이 난다 가슴이 아파 와서 또 눈물이 나
sarangheso nunmuri nanda gaseumi apa waso tto nunmuri na
다시 널 잃어버릴까 다시 잃어버릴까 내 두 눈이 너만 본다
dasi noriroborilkka dasi iroborilkka ne du nuni noman bonda
널 사랑하는 날 좀 바라봐
nol saranghaneun nal jom barabwa
이렇게 눈물이 나서 자꾸 눈물이 나서
iroke nunmuri naso jakku nunmuri naso
다시 살아도 또 다시 살아도 너야
dasi sarado tto dasi sarado noya

너만 본다
noman bonda
I only see you

널 기다리고 기다리자나
nol gidarigo gidarijana
I’m waiting and waiting for you

혹시나 돌아올까봐 다시 돌아올까봐
hoksina doraolkkabwa dasi doraolkkabwa
In case you come back, in case you come back again

비를 맞아도 눈속을 걸어도
bireul majado nunsogeul gorodo
Even if I’m rained on, even if I walk in the snow

다시 또 살아도 오직 너야
dashi tto sarado ojing-noya
Even if I’m born again, it’s only you

xx

Little things that make my day

Loving today's findings <3 br="br"> Particularly smiling sillily at the last picture ;>

History of eating alone

It's a cold winter morning, but the sun hasn't shined any brighter than today. As usual, she's woken up midday..blaming the insomnia she had the night before. First thing in mind is 'what to eat?' cos apparently her stomach's been up all night playing the rock concert. In a second she notices no one's home, and no one is right to be invited for lunch. So she makes up her mind to dine in a nearby cafe, by herself.

It's lunchtime by the time she enters the cafe, and there's barely any table unoccupied. A lady by the door who dresses like a French maid widens her grin and kindly addresses her to one of the two-seats table. A menu is prepared on the table and the girl still has her insecure look on her eyes. After another lady who dresses similarly to the first one asks her what she'd like to have, she finally gives her an answer: a cup of white hot chocolate, and a plate of fried baby calamari. 

No one can tell but it's her first time dining alone. She had usually rather ordered takeaway, but this time she'd rather not. She begins observing people who come with their family, partner, or friends. Well, seems like dining alone isn't so popular these days. What goes through her mind is how sad she must have looked like right now. Maybe looking like a girl who is heartbroken. Or sitting and waiting for someone who never comes. You know what, the truth is, I don't think a single person in the room cares about her dining alone. Nor would they think she looks as sad as she thinks she looks like. The truth is, she doesn't look sad, she just feels so. 

What makes her sad is the fact that she'd rather eating alone in a lovely cafe than a call to invite her friends. And the fact that there is no one that seems right to call to. Then she begins to wonder, where have her best people gone? Who has she been meeting all this time? Well eating alone doesn't seem as bad as what she has thought, though. In fact she'd do it again sometimes. The only problem is, she feels bad because she'd rather not eating with anyone this time. As if she doesn't have any nice people around her to share a table and a chat with. Yes, that's probably the problem. 

Not long after her last thought, her order comes. Then she starts eating without thinking even a bit any more. Before her last bite of the meal, she finally realizes something..the answer. Then she's never felt more alone...in that moment of truth. 

Spotted

Sharing some of my favourite spotted today. Except for the pastries, and the Opera House view - oh and the Christmas tree- all of the artworks were displayed at Museum of Contemporary Art Australia! Look how amazing some of the artworks are.. Definitely one of the must-visit spots in Sydney for artists. The entry to the museum is FREE too, the government knows how to facilitate the city :)


Cheers,
Winny