lost and lonely

Thoughts lately:

• I get so bored easily, lately. I couldn't enjoy what I thought used to be fun and instead doing boring things like watching dramas and stuck at home on weekends. This is so confusing. This happened ever since I came back here after holidays I think. I feel lifeless. *dang*

• I am not a fighter. anymore. I used to be much willing to fight for what I love, for people for things for goals. I've lacked the spirit now. Mostly the reason is I don't have much to fight for nowadays. No particular loved ones, no particular things or goals. I feel lifeless. :<

• After I find a reason that lifts up my mood or gets me excited again, I tend to be too dependent and scared, unprepared.. and in the end I get bored or lose it again. What's wrong with me these days?

• I become less and less grateful. This is not happening to me oh God. I need some refreshments for the soul, please I shall attend Sunday Puja this week _/\_

• Something nice! I met with a high school friend today and realised many things. One of them is to be just me, as in not trying too hard. I've lost track on this lately. I feel pressure from those I always cherish, no longer find a comfort zone in a friendship. I hate to say this but I begin to think I have been overexcited myself for the last 10 months. All the excitement is decreasing dramatically in a flash after some incidents. I hate to think so but many evidence seem to direct me there. Oh God, what should I do?

• Three weeks in uni and assessment, assignment are already waiting in line for me. In class test, quizesssss. Fingers crossed I will survive for another 3 years in sydney!! xxxxxx

Something nice to smile about after the rants

Verrrrry nice Java Chip TomNcinno 

with my lost twin (birthdate) hehe

I hope one day I'll find my lost soulsister like these two *fingers crossed*

the breathtaking sydney view

:3

Rooftop Prince

I have just finished watching this kdrama series last night. This has to be the second kdrama after Dream High 1 that gives me that 'feel'... amazed, unbelievable, nerve-wrecking, you name it. I've forgotten how it felt to do drama marathon before I decided to give this drama a go.

 Every plot, every episode has never failed to hold my breath. I'm not exaggerating here I just had to yell at the bad actions the antagonist did. The drama makes me think whether I have ever lived a similar life, with same people, previously. The storyline can be quite complicated, but it's creatively one-of-a-kind. It's the fantasy-comedy genre. There may be a bit of 'fantasy' events in some scenes in the story, but I think it's part of the worth-watching. The girl, Park Ha, has just the kind of characteristics I adore. Humble, joyful, strong, independent, hardworker. The guy is tooooo charming..his accent, his bossy personality, moreover after he cuts his hair :p

Everything is just magical!

Enough with the said, go and enjoy the drama yourself :D 

When life gives me a dice without a game,

I hate the fact that....

• when my days get too dull, boring, I can do little to change it.
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• sometimes my brain spins a million just do take some action. to do it, or not?
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• uni life has not been exciting, since the first day. I need some good changes please.
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• I haven't been that 'clear' type of person who knows exactly what she wants.
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• when things go wrong, I dunno what to do.
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• I don't have that close friend I can share my day with here. The one with no strings attached.
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• I have so many crazy ideas on my head I'd like to try on, but can't find the right person to try with.
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• the day when I have to finally depend on my own is coming soon :/
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• when my sisters come home bad mood.
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• I am often confused between what I wanna do, and what should be done.
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• I have to do, learn, act,all by myself . AND I am judged. 
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• I am sooooo lazy at times I can't bear but don't have the will to change it :C
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• I cannot spare some me-time in the morning.
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• life isn't as fun as it used to be. PERIOD.

The fact I hate most is I feel so helpless I can't change those things above. 

Dream high, dream on.

What do you think about having dreams? Is every person entitled to have one? What about those who are called disillusioning just because they are lack or no ability to get closer to it.. Should they give up?

 I.. dunno if I have a dream.

From what I remembered since I was younger, I was already 'directed' to study overseas and my dad often wished for us, if not able to earn much, at least knows how to maintain our assets, to not be cheated on. He talked much about business, about how he secretly wished if the three of us graduate with three different business majors and work hand in hand in a company, his. Since then I believe, I thought of no major other than anything to do with business.

I never actually excel in any subject, but I know I have passion for language literature, singing and dancing (my childhood dream was to be a singer do not laugh) and art. Understanding artwork, to be precise.

After graduating high school, the next frustrating moment was to choose a major. As for myself, I had a slight hope in studying fashion design. How cool would it be to be able to make my own clothes, I thought. I ended up believing my knowledge on commerce will one day be useful and make money for me. So I chose commerce as the stream on my foundation studies.

Today I realised, if there is one thing I'm excelled at, it should be studying. I may not be the top student all the time, but as I progress, I get to see the Winny who works harder on her studies, and achieving better results in return. I finally am able to fulfill one of my resolutions: to achieve a scholarship for uni. Just a tiny bit amount but I'm grateful. Very.

Now what about dreaming? I often envy those who already figured out their dreams when they were in the early stage of life. I always find those who are willing to work hard to live their dreams very inspiring.

So here I am.. Still finding clues about what my dream is. Since I watched Dream High (a kdrama), I learned that it's okay to live a dream. And a dream doesn't always have to seem reachable. Because the ones who are happy and live life to the fullest every day are those living for and with their dreams. Maybe it's alright for me to still be at lost on what I hope to become. Maybe it's fine if I don't get what I desperately hope for in an instant but instead through a long and winding road. Maybe by this way I'll learn to appreciate a thing even more when I finally get it.


So Winny, and people out there wandering like me, or those who already have a clue about their dreams; DREAM HIGH, DREAM ON.

Twinkle

Add caption

played water sport: flying fish!

@ Rock Bar

Ola!
Am back from Bali-Jakarta 2 weeks trip. went to many beautiful places for sightseeing or merely culinary tasting. This trip was special because sis' friends were joining us too. It was the most tiring ever as I recalled since I had 6 flights in 2 weeks and the sudden weather and time zone changes. Now I know why I ain't feeling well lately. : < overall though, I enjoyed most of the trip!

creme brullee, they say -.-

rainbow cake. first try!

Went out with some of my closest primary-junior classmates and bestie! Had soooo much to talk about overseas studies' experience. Went to waknoer for dinner and continued to a Spanish-named (i suppose?) bistro at cambridge for desserts and chillin. NOT a good experience there since smokers were allowed to smoke indoor, and unfortunately we got to sit next to them. Duh!

To wrap the post, have a pleasant weekend :)
PS. I can't figure out how to stretch the photos! too big if sized originally, and turned out weird if x-larged. :/

Written in the sand

I'm finally back. After eight and a half months living a slightly different life 4000 miles away. Excited? Don't even know.

It feels as though the city hasn't changed. Like I've just been back from a vacation and not leaving for more than a month. The routine, the custom, the crowd are exactly as what I pictured in mind. Or at least those are what I found til now.

Talking about my life in sydney, foundation year is finally over.  A close friend of mine who came from Hong Kong, decided to pursue her studies in another city but Sydney. So we (read: the Indos) had to say our goodbyes and spent the last few days as if we're never gonna meet again. At least that's what I kept in mind. Funny how sometimes we could only cherish the moment when we know they might never come again. She's been a very lovely and caring girl all this time. Everything would be more awkwardly quiet without her from now on haha I really hope she could find the place that suits her and finally settle down. Another ending, yet another beginning. Uni life is about to start in a month's time. They say it's scary and hard and no-kidding. Foundation year is already pushing me off my limits and I wonder how uni will do me. Finals last week was killing me I swear. I literally worked my ass off the first 3 monstah subjects: econs, legal, maths. That was probably the hardest I've ever worked for an exam. I tried my best though, and still crossing fingers for the results x

Right now, in my hometown, I wish things would fall into place. I would catch up with friends, meet up with teachers, eat, spend, play, have fun all the time! ;) I really don't wish to encounter any stupid feeling I brought whilst leaving hometown last year. That's my wish for this holidays. xoxo