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A beautiful gift in life

Yesterday was Indonesian 66th Independence Day. It was a national holiday but I didn't see any traditional celebrations such as Panjat Pinang, etc in Medan. Well not that I know of. There wasn't any patriotism shown by me like wearing red and white clothes, or batik, none of them. I was upset in the afternoon, hence all my mind focused on it. Funny isn't it, although we've known we shouldn't always have high expectations we just won't care, and keep expecting...and expecting. And in the end, it's us ourselves that get hurt. Such an irony.

I'm lucky to always have someone to stand with me during the bad times, not only the good times. There are times I feel like doing nothing and desperately want to embrace nature. That came to me yesterday afternoon. When there are problems and I could no nothing but going with the flow, I would always go to my best girlfriend. She always knows what to say, how to support me. I could simply utter all my uneasy feelings, regrets, doubts, fears.. and she would listen thoroughly, sometimes offering useful solutions. She's probably the only friend up til now that has the most similar way of thinking to mine. When everyone else would judge me wrong, she'd stand with me and say 'Don't listen to them. Listen to your heart.'

And as always, yesterday she helped me go through my downs. I was slightly hurt, having doubts of what the future might be. But it works like magic, meeting and talking to her. My burden was lifted, all left is optimism. I went home with all the good things in my mind.

Our friendship works two ways, we always support each other. Only when we find faults in another, we'll point them out, discussing the problem and together thinking of a solution. We don't judge, we share.

I love her, like no other. 4 years of friendship..and still counting, K. :') 


With all my heart I hope nothing will ever tear us apart, and we'll always stay this way...for good.♡


xoxo

Signed,

Winny Teh

Happy

I'm happy. Not because bad things have stayed away from me, but more to because I've managed to overcome them. Me and my dad are talking now. No more the 'no hiu' (hokkien) behavior to one another. Problems not particularly solved but I guess Dad's just no longer finding being mad at me for such a long time a good solution. He probably gave up because I made effort to show I'm not a helpless, home girl.

Exactly one more month from today, I'll be heading to my sisters. Going to live with them again after years of not living together under one roof for more than 3 months. I actually quite doubtful with that idea. Don't judge, not because I don't like them (I love them!), but more to I'll need to adjust with their way of living there.First and foremost I'm going to serve myself. Doing the laundry, washing the dishes..no more 'Kak Atik' whenever I want. T----T Secondly no more driver! Wanna go somewhere near? Walk! Somewhere far? Take the bus! Or even worse, there can't be any last-minute wake up because you might not know if you'd miss the bus! hmm..are you saying about taking a cab? It'll cost you a damn fortune, trust me.

Of course the worst part of all is I'll be faaaaaaar away from all my loved ones in Medan. When you miss seeing your parents, curious of what they've been up to, you can only meet them through the flat screen. When you miss your best friends, and boyfriend? Sigh, no solution t___t

But I can't be more wanting to leave Medan than ever. Definitely won't stand another year living here..no education is not the main reason, but I won't stand living the protection my Dad has been providing me all my life. I need something new, something probably out of my league. I'm a little scared, yeah, of going to face the real life..meeting international people out there. But what is life without risks right? I hope I won't get out of line, not being myself, or being too careless after living there. Those are the worst things. Well, fingers always crossed, prayers always said.

PS, I love feedback! ;)

Signed,

Winny Teh

Someday

I know I haven't blogged for almost two weeks. I didn't feel like to. There has been something occupying my mind lately. No it's not about education, or relationship, but more about family..my Dad precisely.

It's kind of saddens me the problem I have with my Dad lately. Moreover I'm leaving in 33 days. Yeah the date is set. But slightly on the other hand, this matter makes me ponder a lot, about me growing up. Of course a problem is not a good thing, but besides trying to solve it on my way, at the moment I'm just trying to take the positive of it. Nothing much as a positive, besides letting me to manage matters myself, and more like a training to get used to living far away from parents. It's positive now, isn't it?

However, deep inside my heart I'm still heartbroken. I've always considered my family's response to my actions. But probably not always do what they say. It is not my desire to be against dad. Although that action of mine said the other way. Sigh Dad is just way too protective to his daughters. Since I'm the only daughter living with him for the past 4 years, the whole protection is for me. Don't know I should be glad or not.

I don't know how many times I've stated this, anywhere, but I'm the adventurous type of person, just so you know. I can never sit still doing a same thing monotonously. (unless it's an entertainment) I like to experience different new things, learn various languages, or musical instruments, basically anything of skills! I want to fall, and get up, and fall again, get up again. But I can only do all those things with the support of my surroundings..my loved ones. If they are not there for me whenever I want them to be, I'll feel this life is not worth living. Mind my depression, but it has ever crossed my mind countless times in this year..ever since I no longer have the only person in this world to love me unconditionally....my Grandma.

On one hand, I'm not fully prepared to leave my hometown, where life must be easier on me, with helpers and parents. But on the other hand, I just can't wait to prove to my parents, and my family, and Grandma, that I, Winny Teh, their loving daughter, sister and granddaughter, is no longer a spoiled, useless, not-worth-to-trust little brat. Yeah 'someday' is coming closer.

“When we were five, they asked us what we wanted to be when we grew up. Our answers were thing like astronaut, president, or in my case… princess.

When we were ten, they asked again and we answered – rock star, cowboy, or in my case, gold medalist. But now that we’ve grown up, they want a serious answer. Well, how ’bout this: who the hell knows?!

This isn’t the time to make hard and fast decisions, its time to make mistakes. Take the wrong train and get stuck somewhere chill. Fall in love – a lot. Major in philosophy ’cause there’s no way to make a career out of that. Change your mind. Then change it again, because nothing is permanent.

So make as many mistakes as you can. That way, someday, when they ask again what we want to be… we won’t have to guess. We’ll know.” 

First

Hi!
Talking about the previous post, I attended a music concert last Saturday night. It was untitled: Piano Keys and Chinese Strings. There were 3 performers: Doreen Chitra (also organiser) (piano), Tan-Su Min Clara (chinese guitar) and Tan-Su Hui Sophy (lute or kecapi in Bahasa). The last two were twins!

It was my first time listening to traditional Chinese instruments. The collaboration with piano was beyond amazing. Overall the concert was worth going!

Anyway, today I went to visit the dentist for a second check-up. Previously, the dentist told me I had three holes in my teeth. But one needed to be unplugged. So today I had my tooth extraction. Little did the dentist know, that my rear molars had 3 kaki. It took him a hard work to finally unplug it. He even did a little surgery. He said that tooth might have stayed for so long. This visit to dentist is the scariest, and my first time having surgery. I can still hear the sound of the drill.... ><

PS, I watched Harry Potter the second time today! :D

Signed,

WinnyTeh

Sunny Side UP

Will update tmr!